Patti Diener – Patti Diener / Author

Summer, Sun, Books, & Writing

Trying to Live in the Moment and Still Daydream

I’ve never been accused of being overly patient. In fact, I honestly prefer instant gratification. But in my years of learning to meditate, practicing gratitude for what is, and trying to stay present, I’m focusing these days on the summer season and all that it brings.

Something I wrote in one of my novels that I’m sure I stole from somewhere else, (nobody really has an original idea or thought), is that time is a thief. The lazy days of summer only just began in what seems like five minutes ago and yet we are already starting the month of August. No time like the present to embrace those sunny, tangy margaritas, wear that vibrant sarong and dance! Since tomorrow isn’t promised, we must enjoy everything…even if what you desire most still hasn’t arrived yet and you are already in the late Fall season of your life.

I’ve wanted to be an author since I first read Judy Blume’s book, DEENIE, when I was ten years old in the fifth grade. Mr. Albertson’s class was full of creative kids buzzing around our papier mache’ projects and talking in Pig Latin. But the one thing I remember most about that year was that’s when I decided what I wanted to do with my life. I was going to be a writer.

After discovering V.C. Andrews, FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC, it solidified my notion that telling stories for a living was exactly what I wanted to do. I started writing that year in my spiral bound notebook, and with cramped fingers resembling gnarled tree limbs, I wrote diligently in pencil for two years on a story that went nowhere. I copied and most definitely plagarizing my favorite authors until I found my own voice, and even wrote some horrible poetry in my high school years.

Throughout those years, summertime was full of melting popsicles, bike rides with friends, and halter-tops. It was a time to daydream, reading scary books of Stephen King, swimming in the lake, and bonfires with beers we confiscated from our parents. We thought we’d be young forever.

Before I knew it, I looked up and I was married with children of my own, and summertime became days of hosting sleepover parties, barbecuing hotdogs and hamburgers, and setting up the slip-n-slide in our front yard. Writing seemed like a luxury I didn’t have time for. It became a one-of-these-days fantasies.

Raising a family was something I thought I had to be one-thousand percent in or I wasn’t a good mother. Time for myself and my own dreams was put on hold, largely because of my own ideologies on parenting. Summers came faster and faster, blurring like I was on a speeding train looking out the window. Before I knew it, the kids didn’t need me as much, and I didn’t know how to find myself anymore.

I still dove into books for comfort though. Margaret Atwood, Dean Koontz, and James Patterson, gave way to me later discovering romance novels of Robyn Carr, Elin Hilderbrand, Brenda Novak, and Nora Roberts. I loved the idea of complex characters that got happy endings. Let’s face it…real life is hard enough. I decided that I wanted to give writing a try again.

If you’ve been following me at all, you know I wrote and released as a self-published novel, AFTER THE FIRE, in 2019. I’ve since written a few other books but want to traditionally publish now, so I’ve been querying on two different novels, not stopping my writing process in between. Writing for me is like oxygen. I can’t stop myself from doing it. And since I am fifty-six, I know I’ve started late in the game. I don’t like the small amount of summers I have left to celebrate, but I plan to make the most of the ones I have.

Today, instead of fretting about what I haven’t accomplished, or worrying that I’m not ever going to be the next Nora Roberts, I embrace what I have, and that’s freedom. I am lucky enough to be able to write when I want to, (I retired as a public-school librarian three years ago), and Monday’s don’t give me the blues. Everyday is the weekend, summer is here, and if I want a glass of chilled rose on the beach on a random Tuesday, I can have it! Everything gives me inspiration to write. Just being alive is a good day.

Looking forward, I will also add that just because I think I want to traditionally publish, doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what will end up happening. I’ll still querying agents about my books, but my summers are coming and going faster than ice cream melts on the sidewalk. I might not wait for someone else to give me the green light. Colleen Hoover didn’t wait after all, and look how well that turned out for her. Like I said, I’m not the most patient person, but I’m trying. Maybe I will become some kind of hybrid author. Carve my own path at times and get some help with other projects. Either way, I’m going to soak up the sun while I can. If I learned anything at all on this planet, its that you have to smile more, and worry less. Life has a way of working out.

I hope you enjoy what is left of your summer, (if you are in a summer zone), and I hope you embrace your life to live fully. Be silly. Take chances. Plan a trip. See your friends. Daydream. Above all, be happy with yourself. We are all just doing the best we can.

Xoxo ~ Patti D.

*All photos are by me/Patti Diener, except the people swimming which is courtesy of pexels.com.

Jumping Into the Deep End

Back in the Querying Saddle Again

It’s like being a kid with all your friends casually treading water with smiles on their faces, daring you to take the plunge. The water’s fine, they say. But what they don’t tell you is the water, although it sparkles and looks enticingly refreshing, can be shocking and icy. It’s sink or swim baby! And if you want to play with them in the deep end, you better figure it out quick. There are other people lined up, waiting on the diving board for their turn and their place in the pool.

Ok, so maybe that analogy isn’t the best, but it does feel like that when you are a writer trying to break into traditional publishing. I’ve written five books so far and only published the second one, and that by self-publishing. I didn’t want my friends and dare I say… fans, to wait for my book, After the Fire, to be picked up in the trad-pub world, so I did it myself. It was really well recieved, (thanks to you loyal people who have stuck it out with me from the beginning), but I really want a team behind me. I’m ready to dive in.

With my book, The Clock Tower of Maple Creek, not being picked up after several attempts for representation, I set it aside to write something new. Back in September of 2023, I started Wildflower, and finished it this early spring of 2024. Since then I have done three rounds of edits and shared several chapters with my fantastic writing group, The Kick-Ass Women Writers. I wrote and tore apart to rewrite my query three different times and finally landed on the current one I’m sending out to select agents. You just never know for sure if the query will resonate with the person you are trying to connect with. It’s always a gamble, and like I said, there are already a lot of kids in the proverbial pool.

I’ll share with you the meat of my query so you can get an idea of what my book is about. I’m in love with my characters and dream of them often. Yes, they are real to me. Does that make me crazy? Well aren’t all writers a tad insane? Below is the sample without the salutations or closing bio.

What happens when the handsome guy you met over the summer ends up being your substitute English teacher? Charlie Kane finds out as she struggles with the agony of forbidden love, the heartbreak of a broken family, and dreams of one day leaving it all behind to pursue a life as a professional artist.

The summer leading up to her senior year in high school, seventeen-year-old Charlie Kane’s life is in shambles. An intellectual outcast with an unfavorable reputation, she has nowhere to turn, living in poverty with her addictive mother, in their small northern California town.

Twenty-four-year-old Jack Connors has just left a dead-end job in Los Angeles and is house and dog sitting for his uncle in Sebastopol, California, trying to decide his next career move when he meets a beautiful, if somewhat unruly girl on the street.

Although the two have instant chemistry, neither learns much about the other. Then worlds collide on Charlie’s first day of her senior year when she walks into her English class and comes face to face with the tall and gorgeous stranger…and he’s the teacher.

Inspired by the 1972 song, “Wildflower”, by Skylark, The Police hit, “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”, and the mother-daughter relationship of Cloud and Tully from Kristin Hannah’s, Firefly Lane, Wildflower, is edited at 100K words and told in dual POV. This book will appeal to female fans of Colleen Hoover, Jojo Moyes, or Josie Silver.

So wish me luck on this querying journey I’m embarking upon once again. In the meanwhile, I’ll be writing with the hubby on his children’s book he’s making and learning more about the picture book industry. That’s what’s happening in my world. Thanks for stopping by.

Sending you all much love. Xoxo ~ Patti D.

*Swimming pool photo and girl with tattoo are courtesy of pexels.com. Others are mine / Patti Diener

Life in the Fast Lane

Juggling My Writing Life, Traveling, and Attempting to Appear Normal

I keep telling myself that I’m going to get a little part-time job to fulfill my need and desire to squirrel away some dough for my travel nest-egg. You know… play money. I mean, hubby and I are doing fine if I don’t, but I often feel guilty using our household money for my egocentric, self-absorbed, hairbrained ideologies of world travel, (for which The Mister has little interest in). But at the end of the day, my retired days are filled to the brim with activities that leave little to no room for me to work in a job.

What’s a girl to do?

Recently I went on a roadtrip with my hubby across part of the US on a three week adventure. You can see from the above photo of me that I took this journey very seriously. I figured if they didn’t want me on the dinosaur they shouldn’t have put a saddle on him. The Mister might not be super enthused about world travel but seeing the United States, he’s totally up for. This included fourteen states, seeing friends and family, a total eclipse, dodging storms, and witnessing the complications and dangers of breeding thoroughbred race horses. That’s an education you can never un-see again. As my brother-in-law pointed out, she doesn’t even get dinner and a movie first.

But in small snippets of time along the way, I was able to sneak in moments of solitude to finish up my novel, WILDFLOWER. I will share a draft of the first chapter in a coming blog post. This is a project I started back in September of 2023, and right after I returned home from our trip, within days I had my first draft completed. I cried of course. I usually do whenever I finish my first draft of a novel. Anyway, since I’m now in the editing stages, about to leave again for Arizona for my niece’s graduation, and then will embark on another solo journey up the coast of Oregon to see my first-born, who has the time to apply for a little three-day-a-week jobette?

Not this girl.

Another thing about being retired is the fact that some days arrive and I’m unsure of what day of the week we are on. The weeks driving without my schedule and structure, I seem to have become a bit crazed. Also, my house is now full of things we brought back from Kentucky, (boxes, furniture, and paperwork), that have been dropped off into corners and on tabletops left for “someday when we can get to it.” I try to go through a few boxes a day while returning to my writing schedule and picking up the pieces of business left unattended to after three weeks. But honestly, my house looks like some kind of highfalitin flea market, or an antique store with pieces of the past piled in places you have to weed through. I’m craving some order around here, but that will come in time.

In the meanwhile, my brain has been on some kind of awakening. Call it spring, call it monkey-mind, but my dreams have been crazy weird and seem to take up all night long, so that when I wake in the morning I feel as if I’ve been vacationing in another universe and not been alseep the last eight hours. Wild. I am forcing myself to walk during the day more, drink more water, and probably need to add some magnesium to calm my mind but I never think of these things until I’ve lost my noodle a bit. Either way, it makes for some interesting conversation, these wacked dreams.

I’m looking forward to querying agents about my new book though, so editing has been pretty exciting and fairly pleasureable. Most of the time I dread the editing but this go-around I’m having fun with it. I’ve also connected with some wonderful women in a new writing group. I cannot recommend writing groups enough. Getting that support and constructive critisism has always been crucial for me. I welcome input and have also been extremely fortunate to have had Jennifer Lynn Alvarez, (author of eleven novels, including YA thrillers LIES LIKE WILDFIRE, and FRIENDS LIKE THESE), as a personal friend who gives me honest and helpful feedback. If you are writing, find a group of people to bounce ideas off of. It’s invaluable.

So in the coming months, I will be sharing more about my latest book WILDFLOWER, the quest to find the perfect agent to represent it, and I promise to give you snippets from the early pages. Its another romance novel but moves away from the sweet style I wrote before in THE CLOCKTOWER of MAPLE CREEK. This one is darker and has more drama.

Like I always talked about when I recorded podcast episodes in BEAUTIFUL SECOND ACT, (which is still available to listen to), I encourage you to get out there and explore your own desires. To chase the things that light you up and make you feel excited to greet the day. Plan a trip with a friend. Get to know your community as if you were a tourist. Travel to a neighboring community and find out what fun things can be discovered, or start a new hobby. Life is a journey that is meant to be fully enjoyed. Be grateful for life’s simple pleasures as well as the wonderful milestones of your time. They are equally important.

And please know I truly appreciate your love and support as I maneuver through my own crazy path on this publishing journey. Without you, the readers, who would know about my wild imagination? I’m profoundly grateful.

*All photos are mine / Patti Diener

Something Interesting Is Happening

It Took Me A While To Get Here

When I retired at the age of 53, most people thought I’d lost my mind. What the hell do you think you are doing? That was the reaction most people had until they realized I was serious, that I was done with public education and being a K-7 librarian just wasn’t what it used to be. Then they changed their tune. At least to my face they did, and there were well-wishers all around, encouraging me to go do my thing.

The first thing I did was dive head first into everything that I enjoyed, wearing all the hats. Truly, I tried to learn everything I could shove into my brain in the alotted amount of time my ass would allow me to sit in a chair each day. Writing my next novel was first priority, or so I told myself it would be. But the guilt of not bringing in as much money as I once did sort of made me feel like I had to build an at home business that might be more promising than banking on the concept of selling my next novel, since I’d only ever self-published. I had lofty ideas.

I started a podcast,…as one does in midlife when they are trying to figure themselves out. It was incredibly hard, super time consuming, and I loved ever single minute of it. I interviewed people from all over the world, we chatted about the incredible changes life throws at us and how valuable, wise, and vital we all still are even though we are past the age of fifty and gravity has long since become a real bitch. Despite the fact that we’ve hit menopause, need therapy, and are struggling to decide whether to color the gray or not, we’ve also discovered the powerful feeling of freedom that aging brings. I for one, have never been happier than I am now in my mid-fifties, (I’m fifty-five).

Along the way, I wrote a book that I queried agents about and proposed as the first in a trilogy. I started the second one, then tabled it for a wildly better idea. In between times though, I’d started a paid monthly membership to go along with the podcast, and Facebook group. I also started a book club, because obviously I didn’t have enough going on already. Did I mention I’m married too? And for some weird reason, my husband actually wanted to see my face once in a while and liked a home cooked meal periodically. This required that I get out of my cave and away from my computer now and then.

I was cruising along, nearing the two-year mark for this community I’d built, when I decided to host a live, in-person event. This went well, if not fairly small, but it was well received. I, along with my co-host who works for The Blue Zones, gave away swag, we each held a talk, and refreshments were served. It was fun. It was exhausting. I never did it again. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I realized I hate organizing shit and would much rather just show up, speak, and drink wine.

Then the most unthinkable thing happened. The person I’d leaned on my entire life and who always seemed to have the best guidance and advice for me, died. My father, my rock, the center pole to our circus in life, left this earth and I was not only shattered, I was in shock. I shouldn’t have been, as he’d been ill for a while, but you never really believe you will have to go on without your father.

But go on I did, because five days after he passed, I was scheduled to go to England, on my first ever trip abroad. I’d never even had a passport until just before this trip and although I told the family I thought there was no way I could go, they all insisted I do just that. “Dad would have wanted you to go!” they all said. Of course I knew they were right.

The trip was magical and surreal all at the same time. The majestic structures that held secrets of ancient times cast a spell on me that made it impossible to feel badly that I was actually enjoying myself, when only days before my father took his last breath. An adventurer himself, I knew Dad was smiling down at me and proud I’d been brave enough to go.

But something shifted over the next few months. Something that slowly, layer by layer started to shift inside of me again, causing me to take notice that my spirit was trying to tell me something. I had to listen.

Part of it was my deeper inner-knowing, and the other part was Dad telling me to stop wasting time doing what I thought I ought to be doing and get going doing that thing I’ve always known I was born to do. Write!

The membership long gone, the book club a thing of the past, I realized that as much as I loved the podcast, it was eating away precious time that I needed in order to be a successful traditionally published author. That has always been my dream. Self-publishing gave me the first taste of success as a writer, as my novel After the Fire, sold really well (before Covid), and the first few months I was an Amazon Best Seller. But I had to pick a lane. All the multi-tasking was not allowing me to be fully successful in either the podcast or with my books.

So I’ve announced to the Beautiful Second Act Community, that it was fun while it lasted, but those doors are closing and I’m stepping into a different place where writing will be the main event. It’s all I’ve ever truly wanted since I was ten years old and started writing stories.

The interesting thing is, after all my mentoring people to live their best life in the second half of life, I’m just now going all in for myself. Maybe the gods or spirits wanted me to create Beautiful Second Act, for the people I needed to reach. To send the message out there to whoever needed to hear it, that it’s never too late to do that thing your heart desires. To take a chance and be brave enough to challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone. To not only eat the cake and drink the wine, but grow as a spiritual being and allow yourself to reach higher, dig deeper, and live fully.

But most importantly, to stop disappointing yourself for fear that doing what you really want will disappoint others. We must stop betraying our own needs and desires because we are too afraid it will upset someone else. That’s the worst kind of betrayal. Depriving yourself your own longing and not being true to who you are because it suits others. No one wins if we do that.

So jump in the deep end with me my friend. Do what lights you up inside and gives you enthusiasm. When 2024 hit, I promised myself that my word for the year was INTENTION, and I’m focusing all my energy on the intention to be traditionally published. So I’ll be blogging more on this, staying focused on the writing community, author life, and honing my craft to be the best I can be. I appreciate your support.

Xoxo ~ Patti

*All photos are mine / Patti Diener

An Attitude of Gratitude!

How I’m handling my search for a literary agent

Staying in the right frame of mind has been something I’ve struggled with most of my life. I am good for quite a while then BOOM! Disappointment strikes and I used to fall flat on my face, (or into a tub of ice cream, or a bottle of wine). These days, I’m different.

Being a middle aged person has it’s benefits. I’ve learned so much over the years and the biggest lesson I think I’ve learned is to not be too obsessed over expected outcomes. It’s hard to put that into practice sometimes. But the first four decades of my life when I would cling so tightly to a scenerio in my mind for how things were supposed to be, always left me disheartened.

The saying, “Life is what happens when you are busy making plans,” is so true. We can have a plan and move towards that goal, but when things don’t go according to that plan it’s so important that we are flexible and able to pivot. At the very least, re-evaluate your approach. I am getting better at this.

In my search for the perfect agent to represent my work, I’ve gotten close and then fallen short. Like the ocean that ebbs and flows, I’ve moved forward and back many times with people having some interest and then it not being a good fit. This dance in the publishing industry is not one for the anxious or impatient. I’ve learned to be hopeful, put myself out there, and then let it go.

TRUST THE UNIVERSE.

So, as to not obsess. I put in the work, I query agents, and I’m still writing (lately two different novels). I’m not sitting around and wringing my hands praying day in, day out, that I will get an agent. I believe in divine timing. I have so many interests and many reasons to be joyful.

I love to travel!

I have a daily practice of gratitude. I really mean that too. I have to PRACTICE it. The more I practice the more joyful I become and it’s now an easier thing for me to do. One of the things I’m very grateful for is travel.

We weren’t able to do it during the pandemic and I missed it tremendously. Also I’ve only ever traveled within the United States, so when Covid hit, I was alarmed. HOLY CRAP! I never went to Europe! These thoughts made me promise myself that after everything opened back up, that I would go.

Even though I am still hunting for just the right agent, I am doing a lot of other things that make me happy. I’ve been photographing the gorgeous spring we are having here in Northern California. I’m going to England for the first time with a dear friend soon. I’ll be celebrating my birthday shortly (turning 55), and the 2nd anniversary of my podcast, Beautiful Second Act, in May. I also just recently hosted an in-person event for Beautiful Second Act at a lovely new shop that just opened in my community.

Me at Flickerstix Candle Co. where we held the event.

So, regardless of the fact that yes, I wish I had an agent to help sell my books, I am still loving my life just as it is every single day. Yes, it is my dream to be traditionally published, even though I have already successfully self-published. I know I can do that again if I wanted to so I have options. But I’m not dismayed or crestfallen because my hopes of being traditionally published hasn’t happened yet.

I still enjoy every day!

There have been times where I get disappointed. Somedays are harder than others to bounce back into my happy place. But I’ve learned the tools that help me to re-set faster than I used to and I know what a blessing life is. I just don’t want to waste a moment taking the beauty of this life for granted.

So, I’ll continue the hunt. I will continue to write. And if you are of a mind to, send up some good vibe thoughts to God, The Universe, or Spirit…however you talk to your Higher Power, with the intention for my books to be represented and published. I’d love the support.

In the meantime, keep reading, and get out there and embrace your life with gratitude!

Xoxo ~ Patti

*Photos by me, Patti Diener

I’m Back In The Saddle Again!

Querying Agents In 2023

I’d like to say this past year flew by but to be honest, every freakin’ year flies by faster now than the previous one. I’m 54 + years old and on the speeding downward hill towards my earthly final destination. I only hope I don’t hit too many bumps as I coast along, and pray for some flat terrain periodically that will slow my pace. Either way, the wind is in my hair and I’m enjoying the view.

Blogging came to a screeching halt last spring. I just wasn’t feeling it because I was too focused on querying agents for my latest book, The Clock Tower of Maple Creek. I put all my energy into that and my midlife mentoring group, Beautiful Second Act. Simply put, I had a lot of balls in the air and had to set one down.

But now I’m fully energized and ready to catch you all up on what I’ve been doing and where the heck I’ve been.

As I said, I was pumping out the query letters to agents for months upon end without a deal. I realized something was off and took a long, hard look at my query letter. It sucked!

I mean, at first glance it was pretty good, I guess. But looking closer I realized I was too close to the project. I needed a fresh perspective. Cue in my friend Jennifer Lynn Alvarez, (who is successfully published a dozen times). I was right. It needed work. I am so blessed to have her as a writing mentor and for the support she’s given me.

So the query letter was being re-worked and I started my next novel. After all, writers have to keep writing. Book deal or not. This way I know I will have more projects to showcase should my dream agent ask me, “So, do you have anything else?”

Meanwhile, we planned an epic family vacation that was supposed to happen in 2020, but we all know what happened there. So finally, after two years of waiting, my husband and I flew ourselves, our two grown daughters and their significant others, all to Disney World in Florida.

When all the Youtube videos on how to use the new app for The Happiest Place On Earth, said to prepare for the most expensive vacation you’ll ever take, I thought it was a joke.

It wasn’t a joke.

That being said, we had a great time and even met up with some friends while there. Would I do it again? No. Was I glad we had the experience? Absolutely. It was an amazing time, if not ridiculously expensive. I told Hubby I could have gone to Italy 2X over for just what we spent on ourselves. But at the end of life I will have that beautiful memory of when we got all the grown kids together to go have a blast.

Once back in California I spent more time on my new book, which is the sequel to The Clock Tower of Maple Creek. I’m writing this as a trilogy so Kentucky Sunset, was set into motion on my writing trip two weeks later.

In order to get the story started, or finished, I usually go away on my own for a writing sabbatical. It clears my head, allows for uninterrupted time alone, and sets the mood for creativity. Plus I don’t have to break in the middle of a good session to put the dogs out, cook dinner, or visit with my family. I just write.

The Mendocino Coast has been my go-to place since 2015. I’ve found it to be so magical and relaxing that I go back at least once, if not twice a year. The places I’ve stayed have been cozy, quiet, and with views to inspire. It’s truly a writer’s paradise.

Besides the views, I’ve eaten at some wonderful restaurants that gives me a break from typing away, and it allows for leisurely time to ponder while feasting on sumptuous food and drink.

Once back home and grinding away again with research on which agent to query, I felt uninspired to press the issue. I decided to focus on the new book instead. At least for awhile.

This was good for me, but too soon the days clicked by and then the holidays were upon us. Most agents close down for the holidays and don’t accept new queries until the new year. I decided to just let it be and believe in Divine Timing. I’d wait until 2023.

So here we finally are. It’s January of 2023, and I am fully charged and ready to roll. This is a great time to get back in the saddle! I’m super stoked about what is coming next and I’m open to great possibilities.

With a new, fully revised query letter at the ready, I am seeking an agent that wants to be in it for the long haul. I want to find that perfect person who will partner with me for years to come. I know they are out there. Hoping we find each other soon.

Here’s wishing you all a beautiful, blessed, and truly happy 2023. Make your life what you want it to be. YOU are the architect of your life. Build what you dream.

*Photos by me, Patti Diener

The Journey Continues

What Early Retirement Has Been Like For This Writer

In March of 2020, when the world stopped turning, I began to spin a scenario in my mind of what my life could look like. When we were all forced to stay home and try to be productive in ways none of us were accustomed to, I decided to dive deep inside of myself to find a new path. One I truly desired. That’s when I realized I would apply for early retirement.

At only fifty-thee years old, early retirement seemed rather rash in the eyes of some of my friends and family. It wasn’t what some viewed as responsible, or advised. After all, who was I to think I could retire when most people worked in their fields until at least sixty-two? I hadn’t paid my dues yet.

Before I could retire, I knew I had many ducks I had to get into their neat little rows. I was working in public education, a school librarian and only in that position for eleven years. My writing had been for the past decade done on weekends, evenings and vacation. I’d managed to publish a book working those hours, but it took me four years of hard determination. Imagine, I thought, what I could accomplish if I wrote full time!

So in the fall of 2020, when public education was dealing with at-home-studies, or hybrid schooling, I worked along those brave enough to go in and do the job, (masks, vaccines, isolation, and angry parents), full well knowing it would be my last school year. Early retirement might not have looked attainable to some, but for me it was the only way I’d survive. The job had become suffocating, soul sucking.

With each month moving along like molasses in January, I soothed myself with the notion that it was the last November, or the last December, I’d ever have to work there. It gave me hope and excitement for my future as a full-time writer. Writing was what I’d dreamed of since I was ten years old, in the fifth grade, when I read my first novel and wrote my first essay in school.

So fast forward to August of 2021, I had to start off the school year, but I got to pass the baton onto a new and more energetic librarian. Someone who wasn’t burned out by the public education bureaucracy. On September 1, 2021, I became a free woman. I was scared, but I was elated by the prospects of living the life I wanted. I became a full-time writer.

The end of anything can be somewhat sad, but I only shed a few tears. In the first few days of my early retirement I felt a bit guilty. It’s like that when you no longer have to do something. I still got up early, although not nearly as early as my 5:30am wake up I used to do. Having my coffee and writing in the quietness of the morning felt indulgent. At first I wasn’t very productive because I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. After setting some goals, I got the hang of it.

Now I travel when I want, I write every day, and I finished my second novel, The Clock Tower of Maple Creek. I’m currently querying agents for representation on this one because I’ve decided that traditionally publishing is the path I want to go. I see a future with a team of folks in the publishing industry in my corner. Although I self-published successfully with my first novel, After The Fire, (buy link here), it was a lonely and difficult road.

In addition to writing, I dove into another line of work. Podcasting has become a great love of mine and this May, 2022 will be the first anniversary of my show, Beautiful Second Act. You can listen from anywhere you get your podcasts but the most popular are Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music, or IHeartRadio. It’s about living in midlife or beyond, striving to live our best life in the second half of life. I plan to build on it in this second year. I currently have two seasons. It’s very exciting to interview like minded people who help me to grow, motivate me, and inspire us all. I also have many solo episodes where I share all I’ve learned along the way towards living a more authentic life. I hope you’ll check it out.

The main thing I’d like to share today about early retirement is that THIS IS YOUR LIFE. If you love your job, great. But if you don’t…if you wake each day wondering what the hell you are doing and are stressed beyond your limits, then make a change. You are the only one who can steer your ship. If you feel in the deepest part of your soul that you are meant to be doing something else, then by God, DO IT! Do it now before too much time passes. You cannot put a price on happiness. A bigger payout in retirement won’t buy you back the years you loose in suffering. Do what it is that brings you the greatest joy! You won’t regret it.

Much love, Patti

*All photos by me, Patti Diener

How January 2021 Derailed Me

There is still plenty of time

January blew in like a tornado. It was unpredictable and caused some destruction. And like the aftermath of such an incident, I was left feeling dumbstruck and somewhat confused as to how to feel.

But that’s just the beginning. I have something positive I actually need to tell you, but read to the end to find out what I mean.

My mother passed away in the early morning hours of January 16th in the home of my wonderfully loving brother, and his remarkable family. They had cared for and supported our mother for many years, enduring some extremely trying times with her failing health and addictions.

I traveled to her, and was able to spend a week long visit with her during her final days on this earth, and for that I know I will be forever grateful. And although it felt like somewhat of an out of body experience, aiding someone who is about to die, I couldn’t have imagined being anywhere else.

My incredible sister-in-law had our mother’s health needs down pat, but it became unduly trying on her. I was all too glad to assist, and share in the nursing care that our mother needed at the end. Still, I felt like most of the time I walked around comatose. It was strange.

Everyone deals with loss differently. Anticipating her passing many times over the years, (she chose a rough life), I always thought I’d be prepared for it. Quite frankly, I was surprised at how hard it hit me and began writing a short story of the event as soon as I returned home.

Oddly enough, there are many small comic relief moments when someone is dying, and in our family there were quite a few. One of the things I said about the experience was, “The longest month of my life, was the week I spent by my mother’s bedside.” It was meant to be funny, but maybe I’m just twisted. Guess you will have to read the story one day.

ANYWAY… my plans for the actual book I’m writing, (my novel, not the story about mom), have been derailed more than once so far. My depression, and health scare earlier in 2020 took me off track, and finishing the book in January went out the window with the death of my mother. It’s hard to wrap your brain around plot twists and dialog when your emotions and brain are lingering in the past. The good news is I’m very close to done. It’s the editing process that will hang me up for awhile. That is where I have to remind myself that I cannot force things.

To be disciplined is one thing, but to try and force a situation to be a certain way will only create resistance for the natural flow of things and ultimately bring about that which I don’t want. But I do want to finish my book! And there is still something else, I want you to know. Read to the end and you will understand.

I am a firm believer in flow. Some call it, “to everything, there is a season.” If you are forcibly trying to make something happen, and creating resistance with stress, then it’s not going to turn out well. Instead, I have been praying for guidance, for inspiration to lead me, and show me the path of least resistance. That’s when I know I am creating something wonderful and worth waiting for, and it’s working. I’m getting closer my friends. The book is exciting me, and this past week I got back in the game.

So when I finish the book, I still plan to submit to agents. I am really feeling good about traditional publishing this go around. No matter what though, I will see where the road takes me, and however this trilogy book series is meant to be received into the world is how it will be. I will follow my heart and let intuition lead me.

I posted the first chapter awhile back in segments, for this new book I called, The Clock Tower of Maple Creek. The title may change. I will share it again as a whole chapter, not split up, in my next blog post. If you are impatient, go to my CATEGORIES on the side menu, (upper menu hamburger if on a phone), and click on the links for New Book/ Clock Tower. Remember, I may edit it myself, but once a professional editor gets a hold of it, the book can still change. I just like to share with my readers a sneak peak at what I’m doing.

January 2021, may not have started off the way I envisioned it would. Hell, 2020 certainly didn’t either, but I still believe there is plenty of time. Time for me to do what I set out to do. Time for me to get my book out this year. At least to get a contract with a publishing house this year. I’m getting older, but there is still plenty of time.

Before I sign off today, I want to let you all in on something else… something is coming. Something I have been thinking about since May, 2020. I want to support other midlife creatives, like myself, who are just getting started. Those of us who didn’t jump into the deep end of the pool until we had empty nests. Those of us who put our families first our entire lives and still have our own dreams. I want to help you. I want to be there to show you that it’s okay to have a vision for yourself, to rediscover yourself. TO DREAM BIG!

If that sounds good to you, if that resonates with you on any level, then follow along and I will help you find the magic of your heart’s true calling. We are not washed up. We are not too old, and we have so much left to do. If you are with me, leave a comment on this blog. I will make sure when I launch my new platform that I get you on the train!

As always, warm wishes my friends.

* All photos by me, Patti Diener

What Success Looks Like In 2020

This bizarre year has done me some favors and thrown me some curve balls that I’m still not quite sure how to maneuver. Small businesses have been hit really hard and we still aren’t even done with this Covid situation. For me personally, I started out with wonderful book sales, just to find them dwindle as more bookstores and other retailers suffered lower overall sales. So how do we begin to even gauge success in a year like 2020?

This year, I’ve reached out to people, women in particular, more than ever before. I’m not just talking about holding conversations with my friends, but I went in search of how others are finding ways to feel more grounded. I wanted to know how folks have found more gratitude, and how they’ve become less wrapped up in the negative climate that seems to encompass everything around us, and instead have embraced hope and new possibilities.

You might be wondering where exactly, did I go looking for these people. Well, I started by researching podcasts. I’ve never really been one to listen to podcasts because I guess I thought they would be a waste of time. I didn’t ever think I had enough time to listen to one. Well now…WOW! I am hooked. I can listen to podcasts while I water my yard, while I brush my teeth, put on make-up, clean the house, in the car, it’s endless. I choose to listen to podcasts that will lift me up, not bring me down. There are thousands and one of my favorites is called, DON’T KEEP YOUR DAY JOB. It’s not just about your job, but it’s more about what creative people love to do, and how the host encourages them to do their thing, AND TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT IT.

With all this inspiration, I wanted to give back to those that might be on the writing path. Earlier this year I made a Youtube video on how writers, in particular, could use this time that they were off work as an opportunity to create something wonderful. I still believe that, but I’ll admit, I can struggle with bouts of depression on what we cannot do. It’s hard to stay in that space of attitude for gratitude, when we are inundated with political storms, and all our freedoms are restricted. Still, I vowed to continue living well, and that meant my mental health as well as my physical health.

I really have always wanted to be successful in whatever I do, but my definition of success has changed over the years. I guess I think success should have two different definitions. One kind of success I think we all want is financial stability. That is probably the most recognized type of success. I mean I don’t think anyone would ever say, “Geez, I don’t need anymore money.” That being said, I’m not sure if anyone would ever say, “I’m successful enough.” But the other kind of success I’m interested in is the kind that is emotionally satisfying. To be successful in what you do with your time is the most gratifying feeling to me.

My husband is a retired battalion chief, but he’s also been a farmer his entire life. He’s a fourth generation farmer and although it is very trying and difficult work, he absolutely loves it. His time spent working the ranch is extremely satisfying for him and that makes him a success.

To be content with the work you chose to do, with the craft you chose to create, whether that be, (for me) writing, painting, cooking, building, gardening, or sewing, (you get the picture), you are a success if you are able to do what it is that you love to do. But what leaves me feeling stuck is I’m not living my truth. In my soul I truly feel I’m supposed to be writing and creating full time… and I’ve no idea how to do it. So I feel emotionally stifled.

So getting back to my journey of finding these people out there who seem to have tapped into the reservoir of passion and abundance, I went online and started watching videos of people that find joy in the everyday little things. I also watched more Youtubers that have figured out how to do things I wanted to learn how to do. I realized that my age is just a number and if I don’t mind how old I am while learning these new things, (how to create better videos), then nobody else will mind either.

Something I discovered in 2020 that I feel very successful for having realized, is that women in the middle…midlife,…have a unique opportunity to do things that we could never do in our younger lives. We are a distinct demographic of people that are curious and want to explore, and have more wisdom than we did when we were first navigating adulthood and parenthood. Some of us are just now waking up to the possibilities of what we can experience now that the kids are grown, or now that we no longer feel the need to prove ourselves. We have lines on our faces, and gravity can be a bitch, but we are still energetic enough to try something we’ve never been brave enough to try before.

Now is our time!

In 2020, I’ve found myself in a way I never knew before, and I think my writing is going to take me places I’ve only dreamed of. I might not be the age I wish I’d have started this journey from, but I am going to dare to dream big and say NOW is my time to make things happen.

If you are a woman in the middle, (or anyone in midlife), I want to say, take this Second Act and imagine what you can do with it. Your success is up to you. Don’t let your age dictate how you feel. It’s just a number. I mean, just look at Betty White’s career. She’s ninety-eight! In the year 2020, we might have had to overcome a whole lot of BS, but I also feel it’s been transformative. Learn something new, dare to create what you envision, and get out of your comfort zone! I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being complacent. I’m going to throw my hat into the arena, I’m going to probably make some mistakes along the way, but success for me will come when I fulfill my purpose, and that’s being a creative person.

In 2021, you will be seeing a lot of new endeavors from this gal, as I embrace my Second Act, and hopefully take you along with me.

Warm wishes to you all.

*All photos by me, Patti Diener

Everyone Should Do This!

Getting Away By Yourself

I’m back! I found my mojo again. I cannot tell you how great it feels to be out from the dark cloud and finding my voice again. Writers block sent me down a rabbit hole for awhile but the one thing that can always put me straight is getting away alone.

I love my family, don’t get me wrong. They are my favorite people on the planet, but too much togetherness can bring about feelings of animosity if you don’t find time for yourself. This is true for anyone, but for writers especially. Writing is a solitary business. But what if you aren’t a writer? Would you still benefit from time alone? I can say, unabashedly YES! Everyone needs time alone.

For five years, I’ve found a few long weekends a year to get away on my own. Driving with the windows down, the music on, or a podcast that’s inspirational, can get you in the groove to unwind and put you back on the path to yourself. Life can be chaotic, overwhelming even, and although we’d never trade those that we love, if you are past the point of exhaustion, a few days away on your own can do wonders for refocusing, and feeling more peaceful.

Susan Squellanti Florence, wrote a book called, TIME ALONE, The gift of being with yourself. I have had this for many years and it has this passage that says, “When you take time alone, you leave the distractions of the day…and enter the secret garden of your soul.” I mean, WOW! That’s pretty deep, right? Well it’s true.

This crazy-ass year of 2020 has actually given me a gift. I talked a bit in my previous blog about how in the beginning of Covid, I was really handling things pretty well before I plummeted somewhere around the middle of summer. Anyway, one of the things I picked back up again, that I hadn’t made time for in years was to meditate. YES… I know, some of you find that too woo-woo, to do. I’m here to tell you, it’s all part of spending time alone.

Meditating is a great way to tune into your soul. Practicing stillness in a world that only moves faster, and expects more, can be very rejuvenating. When you meditate, you can really listen to what it is your body and spirit are trying to tell you. And you don’t have to be sitting cross legged in an ashram, chanting to meditate. Just practicing stillness is meditating. Quieting the mind and being in the present moment is all it takes.

I usually like to find somewhere on the coast to write. For me, being near the ocean and listening to the waves crash against the shoreline, smelling the salty air, and feeling the mist against my skin, it all releases me from life’s stressors. I feel a connectedness to the earth that reminds me I am worthy, and part of this fabulous Universe, born with a right to experience love, joy, and creativity.

When I sit down in a quiet space to write after exposing myself to a place of beauty and grace, I tap into a well of inspiration. It clears the cobwebs that have blocked me from my passion. Being in a calming and quiet place can also bring clarity to areas of your life that might have been murky before.

The view from my hotel in Albion, California

During one of my stays away, I received a call from a friend. She was literally in awe of the fact that I traveled by myself. She couldn’t fathom the idea of one, being alone in a strange place, and two, that my husband let me go. Once we established the fact that women don’t need permission to have time alone, she admitted that it’s just a little bit scary to be alone and traveling. I assured her that it was spectacular! I said, “You know that feeling when your husband and the kids are gone for awhile and you have the whole house to yourself?” she sighed and said, “Yes, I love it when that happens.” I then said, “Well, imagine that for three or more days.” THEN she got it!

The thing is, most women feel that the husbands cannot handle the household without them. That’s simply not true. But if you are not able to leave for other reasons, then at least schedule an afternoon away on your own. Pick somewhere close enough that you can be home by bedtime, or dinner time if you need to, and it should be a place that gives you utter peace, and joy. I’m not talking about a girl’s day out, although those are very much needed too. I’m talking about a place you can be alone! Solitude is key for truly tapping into stillness and being completely calm.

When you return to your chores and daily life after time spent alone, there is often a shift. Mostly it will bring you the ability to do your life with more zest, and a better attitude. But don’t be surprised if you find that you are realizing you need to make some changes. Probably you will want to make changes that bring you more of what you just had… time.

So I will leave you with this. Time alone will quiet your mind, and your heart. If you are a creative, (an artist, writer, musician, architect, chef, florist, …the list goes on and on), then you know you need time for inspiration to strike. Sometimes you have to go seeking that inspiration. Sitting in the presence of beauty and wonder can do that for you. But EVERYONE needs time alone.

A Course in Miracles, says, “Within ourselves there is a silence into which the world cannot intrude. There is an ancient peace you carry in your heart and have not lost.”

I highly suggest you plan your next time away alone soon. You’ll be glad you did.

Wishing you all inspiration

*All pictures taken by Patti Diener, yes even the feature pic. I used a tripod.