Here is the final first 15 pages of my book. I say final, but who knows what happens if a traditional publishing house buys it. Will they ask me to change it? I really hope not because I’ve given blood, sweat, and tears to bring my book to where it is. Truth is, you never know what you will have to fight for contractually when it comes to your work. I wrote it, had a friend read it, changed and edited it, sent it to a professional editor, had to add a point of view and major edits, then final edits from the second run through with my editor. NOW… I am nearly ready to submit to agents but still am editing the final pages. You can read the beginning though. Please comment on the blog at the end, and let me know how you like it thus far. I need the feedback. Remember, I’m submitting it to 10 agents by the first of November.
Happy Reading My Friends.
After The Fire
Chapter One
Arrival
“Where do you go, when there is nowhere to go?”
Gabriel read the words from the crisp pages of his complimentary newspaper left outside his hotel room door. That was all he read before tossing it onto the unmade bed and rushing to work that morning. Returning now to the quiet room, he surveyed the mess he’d left, and considered the paper once more, the headlines still talking of the tragic fire from a few months ago. A heavy sigh, he squinted his eyes, folded it in half, then tossed it unread onto the cheap hotel desk. Too much to think about.
Gabriel was in a foul mood. The excavating company he worked for brought him to this rural community in northern California, to clean up after the Valley Fire swept through and destroyed over one thousand homes. It wasn’t the work that was upsetting. It was the fact that it was the holidays, and that particular time of year always tore at his heart. He thought being in a strange place would distract him. The truth was it made him feel more alone than ever.
The company was putting them up in the only large hotel chain in the area. The Best Western was the tallest building in the small town of Clearlake, reaching four stories high. Being the foreman, he didn’t have to share a room with other guys. He was alone and able to sulk all he wanted.
Three years earlier, it had been raining that Christmas Eve, and it was all over before Gabe even knew what hit them. The papers said the multi-car pileup on the freeway was caused by poor weather conditions, limited visibility, and high speeds. Gabe suffered his share of injuries, a fractured arm, clavicle, ribs, and punctured lung, but Shelly’s side of the car was what took most of the hit. The doctors said she died instantly.
Once the casts were off, Gabe went to work. It was the only reason he had to get out of bed.
Coming to Lake County, to help rebuild the lives of so many that lost everything in the Valley Fire, he thought would lift his spirits. Being lonely around the holidays was just something he couldn’t shake. This particular Friday the thought of driving hours back to his apartment just didn’t sound like it would help so he stayed at the hotel while the rest of the guys went home. Maybe if he had a dog or something, he would have a reason to go, but alone here or there was still alone.
After showering and shaving, Gabe decided to head downstairs to grab a burger and a few beers. Maybe watch some football on the TV, if it was on. To his surprise, the small town bar was slammed and lively. There were loads of people shooting pool, watching the game, and talking loudly over the jukebox.
There was one lone seat at the far left of the bar, furthest away from the television, but closest to the kitchen entry. He could smell the aroma of cooking onions, and sizzling beef. Suddenly he was famished.
“What’s your pleasure my man?” The gentleman taking Gabe’s order had deep dimples that accompanied a kind smile.
“Oh, a Coors Light please, and can I order food?”
“Of course. Do you need a menu or can I make a suggestion?” the bartender asked.
“Um…well, sure. What do you recommend?”
“Well, the chicken fried steak is always good, but my personal Friday Night fav is a thick, juicy burger with sautéed onions. We have shoestring fries that go great with it too.”
Gabriel thought the guy read his mind and quickly agreed to the burger and fries. The cheery bartender winked at him and said he’d place the order right away. The long-neck bottle of Coors Light was placed in front of Gabe as the bartender disappeared into the kitchen.
The Stanford game was on the TV but the sound of Bruno Mars was blaring out from the jukebox. Gabe swiveled his barstool around to survey the room while taking a long swig off his beer. The group was mostly his age or younger.
At thirty-three, Gabe was an old soul. He never was a big partier and preferred more intimate gatherings. But somehow, being swallowed up in a crowd right now was comforting. It was easier than being back in the city, with Shelly’s and his friends feeling sorry for him. Nobody knew him here, or his story, and that’s the way he liked it.
The woman bartender appeared in front of Gabe, placing his plated burger in front of him along with a bottle of ketchup. She gave him a brief smile and quickly walked away to grab a chilled wine glass and a bottle of chardonnay to pour for another customer.
Just as the dimpled bartender promised, the burger was exactly what Gabe needed. The crisp, salty fries were cooked to perfection and he washed it all down with the beer. Before he could even ask for another, the guy just appeared in front of Gabe with a knowing look.
“Ready for another cold one?” The bartender leaned over to grab Gabe’s empty bottle.
“Yeah, you have great timing,” Gabe said.
As the bartender reached into a refrigerator under the counter, Gabe took a better look at him. The guy seemed a little older than he was with slightly weathered good looks. His light brown hair was a little long, and they were about the same height. His deep-set, dark eyes smiled just like his dimples. Although he was tanned, somehow, Gabe knew it wasn’t from being on the lake a lot. This guy seemed more like the outdoorsy, working kind of guy, like himself. That and his hands looked rough like his own. This guy didn’t spend all his time inside bartending that was for sure.
“So, what do you do?” Gabe asked as he took a swig of beer.
“Well right now, I’m your friendly neighborhood bartender. But I dabble in many fields. How about you?” the bartender asked.
“I’m here with the contractors for the fire clean up. I’m staying at the hotel.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t head out this evening like the others then. Don’t feel like going home for the weekend?” he asked.
“Let’s just say, I can be just as occupied here as there.” Gabe replied, having another pull on his bottle.
“Well, it’s a pleasure having you here. I know there are a lot of folks really grateful for any help speeding up the recovery process. That fire really kicked this community’s ass. Folks need hope, ya know?” The bartender got distracted by something and Gabriel turned on his barstool to see what was going on.
Three women were heading into the bar. The first was a lovely blonde with typically over-highlighted hair, jeans and heels. The next was a brunette in a long-sleeved dress and high-heeled boots. Finally, somewhat behind and entering more slowly, was a thin, honey haired girl with her head down. She wore simple jeans, tennis shoes, and a flannel shirt with a tank-top under it. When she looked up in the direction of her friends, her light green eyes were piercing, and something caught in Gabe’s chest. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“You, uh…Ok there my friend?” the bartender was asking.
Gabriel realized he hadn’t heard a word the guy had said. His focus was on the green-eyed girl.
“Sorry, man. No, I’m just fine, thanks,” Gabe smiled somewhat embarrassed.
“It’s understandable. I’m guilty of the same distractions,” the bartender said while staring in the girl’s direction himself. A dark shadow fell over the face of his otherwise cheerful bartender. “If you will excuse me, I need to grab some stuff, but I will be back,” and he disappeared down the hallway.
When Gabe returned his attention back to the girls, he saw a waitress over taking their orders. He didn’t want to seem too obvious with his intrigue, so he turned his barstool sideways to watch the TV screen and pretend to be interested in the game.
Gabe hadn’t dated or even thought of dating anyone since Shelly. He just didn’t have the heart to let go of the past yet, despite all their friends trying to set him up. He insisted it was too soon and he wasn’t ready to even think about it.
He snuck another glance in her direction. She looked like he felt, when HE was with his friends. Distracted, and uncomfortable, but trying to go along with the facade of the evening, she sipped her wine and looked around the room.
Suddenly, the girl locked eyes with Gabe and he felt a rush of heat flush his chest and face. She’d caught him looking. Gabe tried to slowly, casually turn his barstool back towards the TV.
“Be careful with that one,” the bartender said pulling Gabriel from his fog.
“What are you talking about?” Gabe pretended. He wasn’t ready to admit to himself that he felt interested in a woman, much less admit it to anyone else.
“She’s fragile. Don’t give it another thought unless you can respect that about her.”
Gabriel looked into the bartender’s eyes. He was dead serious.
“Not that I’m interested, but I take it you know her.”
“Everyone does,” he said. “She’s as local as it gets. But she’s had her fair share of hard knocks so, that’s why the warning.”
“Broken heart or…” Gabe’s question was left hanging in the air as the bartender stared at her pondering a response.
“More like shattered. She’s not recovered. Oh, she puts on a brave face, but… Anyway, it will take a very special guy for her to ever trust again,” and the bartender turned and started washing dishes.
Gabe drank more of his beer and turned his stool back to look towards the girl’s table. The green-eyed girl was shyly glancing towards Gabe periodically but then turned her chair to face her friends more directly. Gabe got the hint.
“Must have been some stupid guy to hurt a girl like that,” Gabe said in the bartender’s direction. “I have never been the player some guys are. I know something real when I have it. And anyway, who’s got the time for that?” and he finished off the last of his fries.
The friendly bartender turned and gave a small smile to Gabe, as he took the empty plate away and wiped the counter. “It’s too bad not more people had the same outlook as you. Truth is my friend, that most folks are always looking for the next best thing. Nobody is ever quite satisfied with what they have. Especially if things get rough, that’s when the weak give up.”
“So that’s what happened? Some guy left her in hard times?” Gabe asked.
The face of the bartender seemed pained at the question and soon Gabriel was sorry he asked. It was beginning to look like there was more to this story than the bartender had first let on and Gabe immediately felt like he should retract any further questioning.
“Hey, I don’t mean to pry, you don’t need to answer that. It’s really none of my business,” Gabe offered.
The bartender gave a forced laugh, “No, no. It’s quite alright. We all move on and so will she, but everyone here kind of watches out for her. Just so you know,” and he winked at Gabe then walked back into the kitchen with the plate.
He knew he shouldn’t be, but Gabe was now more intrigued than ever about this green-eyed beauty. It seemed so unfair that something as gentle as she could have gone through such trauma. And even though he was always missing Shelly, Gabriel had a yearning to get to know this girl. Approaching her in a bar was NOT the thing to do though, and Gabe knew it. She’d only think he was some slime ball trying to get her into bed. Some, out-of-towner looking for a one night stand. That couldn’t be further from the truth, so he dismissed the idea entirely.
Defeated, he decided to ask for the bill.
“Hey man, I think I’m ready to settle up,” Gabe said.
“Sure thing,” he said and pulled the bill from his apron. “I suppose we will be running into each other periodically since you are here for awhile.”
“Yeah, I suppose so. I’m Gabe, by the way,” and he extended his hand to the bartender.
Wiping his hand off on his apron, he reached to shake Gabe’s hand, “Max, and it’s great you guys are here to clean up so folks can rebuild.”
As he stood to go, Gabe leaned in to ask one last question of Max, even though he wasn’t sure what he’d do with the information.
“Hey, Max? I don’t know why I’m asking, but…what’s her name?”
Max eyes sparkled as he smiled at Gabe, letting him know it was ok he asked.
“Sarah. Her name is Sarah,” and he winked, then disappeared back into the kitchen.
************
Sarah McKinney put on a brave face during the day, but each night, with the setting of the sun, her heart sunk with it. Her body was on constant autopilot, going through the motions of life just to get by.
Then the Valley Fire struck, leaving her best friend Michelle, homeless along with so many others. Diving into opportunities to serve, Sarah found she was able to put her own issues aside for a bit. That’s the only reason she was here tonight. Michelle’s husband took the kids to a movie so she could have a girl’s night out.
“Wow! I almost forgot what going to a bar was like,” Michelle said.
“A few years back and this would have been normal for a Friday night,” Stacy said.
Sarah scanned the room, trying to remember what all the hype was when they partied years ago. Nearly thirty now, she felt much older.
“Holy Cow,” Stacy said quietly. “Would you get a load of that guy at the end of the bar?”
They all looked up at the man sitting at the far left of the bar nursing a beer and trying to act as if he wasn’t looking at them.
The dark hair, athletic build, and strong jaw line were very appealing, but when the others looked away giggling, Sarah looked back and his cerulean blue eyes nearly stopped her heart. He was definitely not a local.
Sarah is the only one that could act on this opportunity,” Michelle stated.
Sarah snapped her attention back to the girls. “What are you talking about?”
“You should go over and talk to him. My, my he’s a hunk of burnin’ love,” growled Stacy.
Her friends laughed but Sarah couldn’t imagine doing that.
“Geez, yes. Let us live vicariously through you Sarah. If it weren’t for Caleb I’d be jumping at or on that,” Michelle said drinking from her glass.
“No way. You guys are crazy,” Sarah said casually turning to get a second look at the G.I. Joe stud at the bar.
He was watching television but turned just in time to lock eyes with Sarah, leaving her stunned, momentarily paralyzed. His stare bore right into her like he could see and know every part of her. Suddenly, Sarah felt very vulnerable so she turned her chair to face her friends more squarely.
“This would be a great way for Sarah to get back in the saddle. And by saddle, I mean ride ‘em cowboy!” Stacy snorted a laugh.
Smacking both her friends on their shoulders and struggling to not laugh out loud and make a scene, Sarah protested.
“Oh, I totally agree,” Michelle chimed in. “God knows it would be one helluva release. Hmmm.”
“STOP IT. Are you guys insane? You know there’s no way in hell I’m gonna go talk to him. Oh my God. Quit.”
“Well you might miss your chance. Looks like he’s paying his bill,” Michelle said.
They all watched the muscular guy in tight blue jeans turn to leave and the three women followed him out with their eyes. But there was something in Sarah’s stomach and throat that fluttered. Something that pulled as she watched him open the glass door to the bar and walk out, that felt vaguely familiar. Sipping her wine she realized what it was. Yearning.
************
Chapter Two
Coincidence
The weekend flew by and all Gabe managed to do was drive around the county to survey the destruction of the Valley Fire. Since he’d decided to stay, he was curious to see what kind of damage wildfires did in California. Coming from Oklahoma, he’d seen how tornados could rip apart a house on one street, leaving the homes next to it completely untouched. It would seem that wildfire could do the same.
Monday morning the crew was all back and they were working with the Valley Fire Ops Chief and Cal Recycling for assignments. The debris at each site had to be surveyed before removing any of it. The Department of Toxic Substance Control and the Environmental Protection Agency were coordinating with everyone, as well as the Office of Emergency Services. It was by far the largest collaborative job Gabriel had ever worked on.
Once Gabe’s crew was given addresses for their assignments that week, they drove up the winding roads through the thickly forested hills. When they came upon the Valley Fire’s burn scar, everything opened up due to the lack of foliage. Enormous black sticks that used to be trees felt eerie, like a skeleton forest graveyard. The ashy landscape with its thick smell of soot seemed as foreign as being on the moon. It felt dead.
This was their third week working on clean up, and Gabriel still couldn’t get over what devastation he saw. They were told they’d be staying on the sites on Cobb Mountain for the remainder of their time in Lake County. They began in Middletown, a small country town at the base of Cobb Mountain, and that town was hit pretty hard. But seeing the rolling hills and valleys of Cobb left bare, save for the blackened stick trees, was far more unsettling. Everywhere was black or gray, everything was bare, and you could see there were few routes the residents would have had to get out.
Even though he didn’t experience the fire himself, Gabe could feel the ominous sorrow of the place. It was as if the land itself was mournful. Driving the roads now, he imagined the panic of hundreds of people, trying to flee on these narrow, two-lane roads, with smoke and fire baring down on them like a dragon from Hell.
Once they arrived on Evergreen Lane, there were no homes, only foundations, fireplaces, and paved driveways as far as he could see. Crudely painted signs posted at each site by Cal Recycle and other state partner teams provided the addresses they needed.
Gabe parked and got out to look around. The pungent smell of charred wood filled his nose. On a normal Monday morning this area would have been full of busy people headed to school or work, but now it was deathly quiet.
Double checking all of the home site’s information on his clipboard before they began, Gabe pointed to where the boys were to pull in the equipment, and they all suited up in Tyvek. Before long, they’d begun hauling off the remaining debris of 14650 Evergreen Lane.
Throughout the morning they never saw another civilian car come by. Only PG&E trucks, AT&T trucks, and even the Army Corp of Engineers, but just before lunch break, a minivan drove past and parked at the top of a long driveway, just a few sites away. His quick glimpse of the girls looked familiar. He heard the soft voices of women talking as they got out of the van.
“Hey Gabe. Where ya going, man?” Barry hollered. Barry was their water truck driver and the oldest guy working on the crew.
“Be right back. Just gonna check something out,” Gabriel waved him off and kept walking, carrying his large bottle of water.
As he approached, Gabe could hear the women talking.
“I’m not sure if you think I’m crazy for even trying, but I’m glad you agreed to come look with me one last time.”
He didn’t want to intrude and realized that it was a little too late for that. Both women looked up and stared right at him.
And there she was, the woman with the incredible green eyes. Suddenly, Gabriel found himself speechless and had to shake his head to find words to explain his being there.
“Um…Hello. I uh…We are working down the street and I heard voices and thought I’d come see…well if you needed anything.
The other woman stepped forward, elbowed Sarah and extended her hand. “I’m Michelle. This is…well, was my home. My friend, Sarah here, is being nice enough to help me try to find anything left of this place that’s even remotely salvageable.”
Gabe shook her hand and said, “I’m truly sorry for your loss. My boss’s company was subbed out to help in the cleanup process for the fire and we were assigned right down the street.”
He locked eyes with Sarah then and she slowly approached Gabe, putting her hands in her pockets as she walked over.
Gabe nodded to her, “Sarah, you said? Hello, I’m Gabriel Hart.”
“Yeah, I’m Sarah McKinney. Hello,” she offered back, very apprehensive but continued to keep eye contact with Gabe nonetheless.
“I know it has to be done,” Michelle started, “but I just know I’m going to lose it when they have to haul off this ash pile. My husband is at work and we must have been here half a dozen times together already. I just wanted to try one more time. Believe it or not, I’ve found my mother’s wedding ring. My friend, Charlotte, she lived a couple of blocks from here, she also found jewelry at her place. Strange huh?”
Michelle started pacing a little, wringing her hands as she looked around her gray and blackened property.
“I guess we are just lucky to be alive. I keep telling myself that whenever I get emotional. We almost didn’t make it out. I had just come home from the store and was unpacking groceries and didn’t want to answer the phone. I let it go to the machine but the damn thing kept ringing! I heard sirens but they were off in the distance and I didn’t pay it any mind. Caleb, that’s my husband, was out working in the garage. Our kids were at his brother’s house, thank God. By the time I had three phone calls in a row I decided I’d better answer it. It was my sister-in-law and she was rambling so fast I thought something had happened to one of the kids. She said for us to get out now! We had to leave. We had to go because fire was coming our way! I had no idea what she was talking about. My husband’s brother is a fireman and they’d heard about it over his radio. Well I slammed the phone down and ran outside. I smelled smoke but that was it. I thought…they must have been mistaken. It HAD to be far from us.”
************
Sarah wrapped an arm around her friend and rubbed her back. Michelle had lost so much. She couldn’t spare a moment to worry about what Gabriel might be thinking of all this, instead she stood close to her friend and let her talk. Tears were building in Michelle’s eyes, her hands shook, while a flush of pink crept up her neck to her face as she relived her story.
“I ran to tell Caleb and he came outside and looked too. He said we should pack some stuff and go, just in case. But what the hell do you take? I grabbed a photo album off the coffee table that had our vacation pictures from last year in it, a change of clothes for each of us…just a change. I mean, we were coming right back, right? I grabbed our dog, Sadie, and threw her into the car and got her kibble. I even fed the fish. Why, I don’t know. They didn’t have a chance. Thank God Caleb remembered to grab our flash drives.
“By the time we were loading stuff up a man was running up and down the street screaming for everyone to get out. GO NOW, he was shouting, and there was such thick smoke then, I was really getting scared. When we got to the bottom of the hill and had to decide which way to go, we panicked. What if we made the wrong choice and got stuck! The fire was baring down on us and cars were flying down but seeing was difficult and it was hard to tell which direction the fire was going. Caleb chose to go towards Lower Lake and it worked out for us, obviously. But yes, this is what we returned to after waiting for a week to come see if we had a house or not.”
Michelle wiped her tears and nervously laughed at herself. “I must seem like a crazy person to you. Here I am telling a perfect stranger my tragic little story.”
Simultaneously, Gabriel and Sarah said, “No, you are not.”
They three laughed, breaking the tension of the moment.
“Listen,” Gabe said reaching into his shirt pocket to pull out a few business cards, “I’m in town until our contract runs out. I really don’t know how long that will be because the powers that be have been unsure themselves. However, I would like to help. If you find you need extra hands over the weekend, I’m staying at the Best Western with some of the crew. They usually go home on the weekend but I’ve been staying so, if you find you could use a hand with…I don’t know, anything, just call.”
Sarah took his card and felt a tingle as their fingers touched. “The Best Western? We saw you there last Friday night at the bar, didn’t we?”
Again, Michelle’s elbow, and she was jumping in. “You know we did. He was the interesting guy at the end of the bar. Sarah noticed you and…”
Sarah reached up and gave Michelle a sharp squeeze on the back of her arm.
“Anyway, we just knew you were there,” Michelle finished.
Gabriel blushed, smiling at them with his incredible dimples and perfect teeth. He was too adorable, she thought. Dangerous.
“I won’t take up more of your time but I hope to hear from you. The guys are probably wondering what happened to me though. I should get back to work.”
Sarah just nodded but Michelle spoke up, “We certainly will call Gabriel. Have a great day and thanks for coming over.”
As he turned to leave, he gave Sarah one last flash of those amazing eyes and she watched him walk away. Oh Lord.
When she looked back at her friend, Michelle was grinning from ear to ear, mocking her knowingly.
“WHAT?” Sarah hissed quietly.
“Oh…you are in so much trouble my friend,” Michelle giggled. “It’s all over your face.”
************
That night at the hotel, Gabe sat in a chair near the fourth floor window of his room. Three years cloaked beneath the suffocating, dark shroud of loss, left Gabe unaware of the suffering of others. Being in this place, listening to Michelle’s story, he’d felt something for the first time in three years. It was strange to admit to himself but this was the most alive he’d felt since Shelly’s death. Gabe wanted to help these people. Somehow, sharing in their pain and wanting to do something to better their situation made him feel like he found something to live for.
And there was something else. It was the undeniable feeling he got in his chest when he thought of her. Emotions Gabe thought were dead forever inside of him, welled up more powerful than he could fathom. The soft sweetness of a girl, somewhat demure, had a hold on him in only two times that he’d ever seen her. He was either going to be saved by this woman or she’d surely be the end of him. But for the first time in a long time, Gabe felt like taking a chance. When he closed his eyes that night to sleep, the last thing he remembered was the touch of her hand, and the look in her eyes.
************
OK FRIENDS… so there you have it. That’s the first 15 pages of my book. The final draft. I hope you are intrigued and want to read more. If so, then that’s exactly what I need and what the agents want to hear. If you truly feel compelled to read on, please leave a comment so when they come to my blog later, trying to decide whether or not to sign me, they will feel like this book is already selling, before it’s even published, and they will be more opt to work with me.
Thanks for your support.
Smoke creates
Mornings are quiet,
Yes I cried.
But today,
A writer writes.
One of the characters in Dean Koontz novel, FEAR NOTHING, had said to ignore the great issues of your time, therefore improving your digestion. Ok, I’m paraphrasing since I cannot find the book to quote at the moment, but you get the gist of it. I’ve said this before I’m sure. So recently, I went to Hawaii with my family and tried to ignore all problems for awhile. It worked beautifully!
Milestones
While sitting
