Writing My Novel

Writing this book…….

I have realized one very important detail I overlooked. It was something I kind of took for granted and did a lot of assuming. Now I realize that while writing my book, there is one very important interview I never did. It was my own husband’s!

Charlie is an amazing man! I don’t think I’ve ever really wrote much about my husband because, well it’s my blog, and quite frankly, he is not especially interested in technology or social media at all! But I know when I blogged about the Clayton Fire, I wrote quite a lot about what he’d told me to do and how I had him in my head when I was my strongest. Still, I never really did an official interview about the Valley Fire with him for my book. I simply was going off of the things we went through together, and the things he told me during the days he was away on the fire. Not exactly the best perspective for me to have! It’s really only my perspective unless I do the full interview with him answering the questions. So that’s what I’m doing now!

In case you are just tuning into this blog or don’t know from before, my husband Charlie is a Battalion Chief for Lake County Fire Protection District and in my book, (no pun intended), one helluva guy! He has 36 years of fire service under his belt. He’s seen a thing or two, (as the insurance commercial says), and before the Valley Fire, I never saw him look particularly worried about a fire call. This one, I could see in his eyes and actions when he left, made him nervous!

I told him that the last piece of this story is going to come from him. I have the entire timeline following the Valley Fire mapped out in my book. It’s ready to be finished and starts in the month of November after the fire, and finishes in the month of July. I am currently writing about the month of April. Late April. Like I said, nearly done. Although I did have his story entered into the outline, I now see it was all coming from me. I really need to get Charlie’s full experience written down to put within the pages of the book.

So since this weekend is the first one in months that there is NOTHING on our agenda, I am spending it writing, baking, and cleaning my house for fall decorating. Yard work can be in there someplace for weeding out old summer plants that are tired and replacing them with colorful cool weather beauties. However, the greater part of my time is going to be getting my husband’s words down in the book.

I’ve decided to make the character exactly him. Different name, but still a rugged man that wears both hats of a fireman when on duty, and farmer when he’s off. A proud, stubborn, passionate man that loves his family, loves his land, loves his community, and works hard to protect them all! His will be a character in the book that will definitely stand out and make a statement.

I love fall and all that comes with it. There’s a change in the air, the smell of damp earth and leaves, and for our family we have harvest to look forward to. Grapes first then right into walnuts. It’s busy, beautiful, and traditional. As I make some fig bread this weekend and write while smelling the sweet goodness fill the air of my home, I hope it will propel my writing into a tapestry of art. Inspiration comes from feeling good and this time of year is perfect for all things wonderful.

Please enjoy your family and your homes. They are the most precious things in life. One’s home is where so many things begin and end. Just remember it’s all the stuff in between that counts. I wish you all a great beginning of fall.

*Middle pic of typewriter by Patti Diener. 2 others from Google images.

 

Sunday Morning

 It’s quiet.

The outside morning air is sweet with the smell of dewy grass and my dog, Bailey, is wandering around smelling the scents from nocturnal animals that visited us last night. Coffee is my friend. Together with my dog and beverage I am trying desperately to begin this day in peace.

What the hell is happening in the world now? I am trying to push it down and live in this very moment of silence. This is why I’m only an average meditator. I try but am only good about half the time with sitting still and quieting my mind. The events of recent years and recent days fill my head with noise.

The fires are only a fraction of what fills my mind. They were and for some still are catastrophic. But the continued loss , (family and friends dying), and continued natural disasters, just keep mounting to the point I’m overwhelmed and in near tears all the time. I just want to hide! Go into hiding from life where I can merely just exist…….. if for only awhile.

But of course, I won’t. Instead I try to catch moments of solitude and pray, listen to music, read, take pictures, or write. These things are my therapy. And once I nourish the parts of me that are suffering inside, I am good to contribute to my little part of the world again. The people I love, who I need, and who need me.

In our times of helping those with loss, I reflect to a time my father talked about and times I’ve only read about in books. During WWII, the small towns across America were filled with people bonding together. They did everything to become united! Households all looked after each other’s kids and families pulled together in times of great loss. Whole communities were family! I believe this sort of thing is catching on in Lake County! I feel it all around me.

These next few days are going to be nothing short of colossally difficult. Funerals are something I avoided most of my life but have unfortunately become unusually good at organizing these past several years. Since the loss of my sister Jill, I have found myself going onto auto pilot to just do what needs to be done. In the end, you just hope you have honored that person in a way that they know how much you loved them.

Life is a journey that takes us along like a boat on a river. Some days it’s calm, others it’s white caps, treacherously rushing! In the end though I know it’s all worth it. When we hurt, it’s because we loved! I wouldn’t miss feeling that love even if you promised me forever calm, still waters. And when I’m crying and look up to a beautiful sky, I know our loved ones are still with us, smiling and saying it’s ok.

I am grateful to be in a place where I know my neighbors. Where we can all count on one another. Today is my time to help the ones who need me. It’s just what we do here in small town U.S.A., and I am very proud to be part of this community. I pray God will lighten the load on all those who are suffering, and bring peace and comfort to those in need.

Have a blessed Sunday.

*Coffee picture from Google images, others by Patti Diener

 

 

 

 

 

A Scar Heals Stronger

Loss changes a person. Loss of any kind. It changes the very fabric of our being. But like a scar, sometimes it can grow stronger where it left it’s mark. For others, it simply never fully heals.

These past few months have brought to mind the truth that we are all here for a finite amount of time. What we choose to do with that time we are given is usually up to us. However, sometimes life changes direction and blows our sails in the opposite way from where we wished to be. The struggle to get back on course can be daunting.

Community is something I have found to be a constant. Sometimes we shut it out, sometimes we long for it. I have found myself at both ends of this rope. When times become difficult it can be very easy to slip into that pool of darkness, slowly drift away to a place of solitude. But it’s dangerous to stay there for long! Reaching out when we are at our lowest can be the biggest struggle of all! Living in a small town, I have come to realize more and more, that community is the greatest blessing of all.

The light that touches us when we are brave enough to reach out, can save us. In moments of great loss, of any kind, we often are unable to find our way to move forward. But lately, I’ve seen how compassionate this world can be in the midst of great tragedy. You will be able to move forward again only when you open yourself up to those who wish to give to you.

When we are most vulnerable, we often also are feeling unworthy of anyone’s help. Pride can block healing. But the people of our community in Lake County, have banned together on so many occasions these past few years to bring help, hope, honor, and grace back to us, that if those who need it would just let go of that pride, they would find something even stronger. It’s love.

Breathing again, after loss, comes one conscious breath at a time. But eventually the fog will lift. It does blow away, and if you can look up from grief, you may find that there have been people from our community there all along, helping you to breathe once more on your own.

Gratitude comes when you can see miracles in the smallest, everyday things. The sound of birds when you awaken, the smell of fresh coffee brewing, the smell of fresh cut grass, or the sight of an evening sunset. These things are there but when you really become aware of them, they can awaken you.

This blog started after the Valley Fire, and was primarily to help me gather thoughts for the book I’m writing. Oddly enough, it’s turning out to be mostly a book about the love of a community! The loss that so many had from the fires over the last few years is what prompted me. But after these past few months, the human loss of friends, relatives, community leaders, and icons, has brought me to this blog post. I simply want to say, I am so proud that however damaged our community has been, it still rises up to help each other through the storms.

 

A safe port for those searching, is usually right in front of you. Don’t be afraid to reach out. I believe I have experienced divine intervention many times in my life. Today I was driving home from our ranch, thinking about writing this post, and Marc Broussard’s song DON’T BE AFRAID TO CALL ME, came on and I found myself crying. I knew then what I had to do.

I believe it was intended for me to write this today, if even just one of you out there reads this. Maybe my words were meant for you. Remember, wherever you live, and especially in small town communities, there are always lots of people willing to help. People that want you to feel loved. People willing to help change the winds in your favor. It might not be the place you first set sail to, but it will hopefully be a place, (physically or spiritually), you can feel safe and call home.

 

  • All photos with the exception of the sailboat, were taken by me, Patti Diener. Sailboat from Google images.

It’s Still Fire Season Folks!

Bob Minenna, took this picture of the fire crew from Konocti Conservation Camp fighting yet another fire here in Lower Lake, California this week, out on Bryant Road. With the Lake County Fire Protection District, and all other emergency resources that helped extinguish the flames, our community is safe once again!

BUT WHAT I WANTED TO SAY…….. is that while this fire was headed out Bryant Road, my good friends that live out on that very road, were out of town and driving home with the hopes that the fire would not reach their house! This has become quite common here in Lake County now. Much more so then I remember as a kid growing up here. People are worried that if they leave, they won’t have a house when they return!

I suspect it’s just being gun shy after these past few years of fire seasons. It is also due to the growing population in our county. More people equals more opportunity for fires to start. But we cannot live in fear and worry about what might happen! That’s not living at all. Still, those of us that are still shell-shocked have a hard time letting go.

When I was 3, and my dad moved my mother and me to Lake County, it was 1971. Back then, the population in the county was approximately 19,825 residents. Flash forward to the most resent census I could find, and in 2015 the population shows 64,591 residents. Quite a jump!

 Back in the 70’s

I didn’t worry as much about things like this. I was much too busy walking barefoot in the creek and catching pollywogs and tree frogs, or picking blackberries. I loved the freedom of no technology, playing outside until dark and running around from neighbor to neighbor, with us kids on our bikes. It was the best childhood!

Not that we didn’t have fires! Hell yes we did! But they seemed fewer and farther in between, at least the big ones were. Still, nothing compares to The Valley Fire or even The Clayton Fire, in my lifetime. And we are still healing.

Today, in the residential neighborhood behind our own IGA Store, Foods Etc. there was a fire. It looks and sounds, (listening to the scanner), like it took two residents and some wild land. The neighboring medical clinic had to be evacuated, but I’m not sure how complete that procedure went before the firefighters contained and extinguished the flames. Thank God for the brave fire personnel we have and skilled dispatchers! However, someone out there still lost their home. I pray for them tonight.

As for my friends that live out Bryant Road, it was their property that the fire ran right up to. The creek in their yard had been the stopping point and they told me it burned right up to the back of their boat! However, they had a good defensible space in their yard and lost nothing. Thank God! Sometimes things work out, and they made it home safe and sound.

To my fellow Lake County residents, be safe! Make good choices on when and where you run your equipment. Don’t use weed-eaters or mow your yard past 10:00am and ALWAYS keep a fire extinguisher or charged hose near by. And if you have neighbors that are being not so smart, you can either remind them, or report them.

And yes………. take that vacation, and don’t be afraid to leave your house! Enjoy your life without fear. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. But if you are truly worried, pack a “get out bag,” and leave it by your door, and give a key to your house to a friend that can grab it for you. That might alleviate some of the stress. In the meanwhile, enjoy your summer!

*Picture of firefighters/ Bob Minenna/Record Bee

*Pictures of child in creek and vacation beach/ Google images

 

Summertime and the livin’s easy!

 Porch sitting

is one of my most favorite pastimes. It gives time to reflect, time to slow down, and time to plan ahead. It is also the best place I know to write!

This was my fourth summer renting a house on the  Mendocino Coastline, but this was the very first time I rented one by myself. Oh, I’ve gone away for writing trips before and stayed in places that inspire me, but never have I been so indulgent to rent a house for just little ole me! Let me tell you my friends,…….. it’s spectacular!

A few of my girlfriends were like, “What the heck are you doing going alone? Won’t you be scared?” Another friend wondered what I would do with all that time alone! (Ha! anything I wanted). But the funniest remark came from one of my dear friends that said, “Oh my God, my mother would die! She always taught me to be scared of the Boogie Man! I can hear her now! ‘Keep the lights on!’ Will you be ok?” I answered, “You know when your husband and the kids all leave and you get the whole house to yourself? It’s just like that but for days!” I believe it sunk in then because she sighed and said, “I love it when that happens!”

 At night

I got to enjoy a fire because it was actually cold on the coast, which was a welcome change to the 95+ degrees we have been experiencing here in Lake County. The sound of the fire and warm taste of some red wine, relaxed me into a place where I could let my mind drift into the world of my characters I was writing about. I had finally finished outlining the last few chapters before I had to depart.

Having packed up my belongings, I took some time to meander along Hwy 1 to take a few photos. I love to play with my camera and see what fun things I might stumble across by driving along. I drove down a few roads I’d never taken and also stopped at a place I’d always wanted to explore but never quite had the time.

I was quite lucky the day was clear of fog and I could look out over the ocean for miles. Stopping at an interesting resort, I found just sitting on a cliff near Little River, this fabulous place called The Heritage House Resort & Spa. Well from the highway it doesn’t look that big but apparently it has over 30 acres of splendor! I will most certainly be looking into that place for a getaway! Hubby would enjoy it too! Can you  say, massage? Plus the dining menu looked incredible.

Nearly home and full of ideas to complete the saga of my novel, I drove into Lake County from the Napa County line. Not wanting to go the usual route, I took Hwy 128 over to Cloverdale and drove through the beautiful Alexander Valley and entered Middletown on Hwy 29 at around 3:00pm. As I drove, I was thinking about the Valley Fire like I have done each time since that terrible incident. I came across this fantastic barn that every time I see it I think, “Wow! I am so happy that place didn’t burn because it puts a smile on my face every time I see it!”

This lovely barn has grabbed my attention each time I drive past it so on this day, I drove down their driveway, and not only was able to capture this American Barn, (as I’ve named it), but a cowboy working on his fence as well. It’s such a blessing these folks didn’t lose it in the fire.

Well, I was intending to drive around last week to look over the Cobb area and specifically Anderson Springs to see what has changed, been cleaned up, or rebuilt since the fire but my dog got pretty sick and I spent days babysitting her instead. Several hundred dollars later, she is improving so that is a good thing. My quest to visit that area will take place soon though.

Thanks for reading and supporting my blog, my book, and my spirits! I hope each of you spends some time this summer relaxing, and renewing your spirits as well. Peace to all!

It’s been nearly 2 years!

Almost 2 years ago, the cycle of mayhem began in our community.

The good news is, we have come a very long way and people are finally starting to show signs of moving on. The healing is a process, but it’s a little better with each day.

Even though my heart still races when I hear multiple sirens coming from the intersection in town, I have learned to live without the scanner constantly playing in the background of my life. I’ve turned it off again, as I did for nearly all my adult life before the fires. Now, I only turn it up occasionally.

When I hear the roar of a radial engine in the sky, I get nervous again that something might be brewing. Nonetheless, I am always grateful that they are there. Those planes saved so many lives during our last 2 years of fire seasons here in Lake County, and although the sights and sounds of them bring me some jitters, they also bring me that gratitude.

 I love this

sign now, even if I never gave it much thought before. I love it because Lake County IS a place I feel welcome. There is always something we complain about in our towns but since the fires, and since I have felt this reconnection with the people of my community, I realize now more than ever that home is something we have ALL taken for granted.

When so many have lost their homes, it’s important for us all to reflect on how lucky those of us are that still have ours. We need to reach out to fellow Lake County residents that might need our help still and possibly just need to hear you say, “I’m thinking of you. I know you might still be hurting and I understand.” But most importantly what we all need to hear is, “you are not alone.”

In the next few days, I plan to take a drive through some of the hardest hit areas from both the Valley Fire, and the Clayton Fire. I need to see the places I don’t always pass in my day to day life, to realize the beauty of how Mother Nature can replenish herself. I want to see the progress that people have made in rebuilding their lives, and get a good picture in my head for the ending of my book.

Thank you all for checking in on my progress with writing the novel that I hope will shed positive light onto our county. I have been enjoying the process more and more now that the tears are fewer and farther in between. What drives me now is wrapping it up to get it into all of your hands.

Thank you for your patience. Love to you all!

*Pictures are from Google Images/Valley Fire & Welcome to Lake County

Small Town USA!

 This weekend

in our small town USA, Fire Department Association Hall, better known as The Brick Hall in Lower Lake, California, something very special happened. But I need to back up to let you know what was happening with my family first.

My father brought me to Lake County when I was only 3 years old. I have lived here, (minus a short stint in Livermore) ever since. I watched most of my family move away over the years and the saddest was when my brother Mason, and his wonderful family moved to Arizona. We all have visited quite a lot and my mother Ruth, lives with Mason. Dad and his wife of more than 25 years, Carol, fell in love with Arizona during our many visits and they bought a house there. So the big move after my father has been in Lake County nearly 46 years, was THIS WEEKEND!

Meanwhile, the Lake County Fire Protection District’s Annual Firemen’s Dinner was also this weekend. Being with my husband for nearly 31 years, and he having been a fireman more than 36 years, I’ve attended just a few of these dinners. HA!

That being said, I had a dilemma. Because of my father’s move my nephew Shane was driving down from Montana to help with hauling all their belongings, and my brother Mason was going to be here as well to help pack my father and Carol’s entire life into trailers to move. This also meant Dad and Carol would have no BED TO SLEEP IN because,……. well, it was packed! They were all going to be staying with me. All the friends that helped pack them up also were going to be here at my place to wish them all well and Bon Voyage! I thought it would be ok if I missed this ONE Firemen’s Dinner. Charlie completely understood.

But once word got out to some of his crew that he was going without me, a wife of one of the guys and a good friend called up to say, “You GOTTA COME! Charlie is getting Fireman of the Year!” (Thanks Wendy!) Well you can imagine that I was in quite a pickle! If I had that Mulitplicity Machine to carbon copy myself then I could be in two places at once. I told her I’d work it out and thanked her for giving me the heads up!

As it turned out, things went perfectly. Friday night was when I had everyone at my house until late. Saturday night my folks needed to get to bed early because the 16 hour drive of Easter Sunday to Arizona was ahead of them. My nephew went to bed directly after dinner and the only ones left hanging around were my brother and me. I asked if he wanted to crash the awards dinner with me and he said sure, since he was flying home. He’d been in California several days for business and his flight didn’t leave until 12:45pm the next day. We were golden!

  My brother and I are pretty tight!

We are ridiculous when we get together and it’s a blast. So when we got to the Brick Hall early, we didn’t want to walk in. If Charlie saw me he’d wonder why I was there instead of at home with the fam and then he’d know he must be receiving something, and I didn’t want to give it away. So Mason and I stood outside the doors, up against the wall like Spiderman, laughing and telling each other to SUSH! Zack from Charlie’s shift, and his lovely wife, came outside just then and brought us beer while we waited.

Finally we got a text from our youngest daughter Emma, (who was sick and waiting to go home as soon as the awards were handed out), that we could come in. We snuck inside and stood in the back of the room, trying to be quiet. Just as we thought we’d made it in all stealth like, Mason’s foot kicked the metal door and made a loud echo throughout the building! We froze and hoped nobody would turn. Luckily, few did.

  I wish

I’d taken my camera, but I was in such a hurry to go I forgot. Anyway, as we stood in the back of the packed dining tables of people, Chief Willie Sapeta was talking about the fires of the last season and specifically the Clayton Fire. He handed out several recognitions to firemen that went above and beyond during that fire. The list was long and people were beginning to get emotional.

Our demeanor changed, my brother and I, from goof-balls to humble people. It was special to be a part of the grateful community honoring these firemen. Then Charlie came up to the microphone and pretty much brought down the house.

I could never remember everything he said, but one thing he brought up was how before the district consolidation between Lower Lake and Clearlake departments, there was always a razing and playful competition between them. But he said, “On that day of the Clayton Fire, we were all Lower Lake Firemen!” He was clearly choked up. Then he said how he was so honored to do battle with each of them during the Clayton Fire. He spoke of certain guys that laid it all on the line, and before he was done, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

Looking over at my brother Mason, we were both crying and he said, “I’m ex-military Dude! I don’t cry! Why am I crying?” and we laughed at each other. I later talked with him after hours of dancing, partying, and basically having a town reunion. We stood in the kitchen at my house at around 12:30am talking about the difference of Lake County and Arizona city living.

“There is nothing like what I saw tonight going on in Arizona,” Mason said. “That small town USA stuff is really special here. Everyone having each other’s back, it’s pretty damn cool! I didn’t realize how much I miss that.”

It was then that I realized, I have been taking our community for granted again. I loved everything I heard, saw, and experienced, but didn’t think about how unique it is to have these type of connections. The camaraderie of our community is very special. Like I told my brother that night, we might not all socialize with each other much, but if anything ever happened and any of us needed something, we have an endless amount of folks that would come a running! That’s a pretty great thing and something I hold dear in my heart.

And the book is still progressing, slow but sure! It’s because of folks like we spent time with this last Saturday night at the Brick Hall, that make my book easier to write. It’s their story and the people who lift me up with hope! For that I am grateful. See y’all soon!

* Pics of The Brick Hall and Small Town USA, from Google Images, others are mine.

 

 

Where the heck have I been?

  It’s been awhile

since I have blogged. Life has gotten in the way and my New Year’s Resolution of better time management has worked just fine for my “job,” but my “LIFE,” not so much! Guess I need to prioritize now.

I read the opening line today of John Steinbeck’s, Travels with Charley, and I was almost brought to tears! It reminded me that being an adult with adult responsibilities often has some stigma attached that you should do the things in life that are viewed by others as “stable.” Well what if what I want to do is somewhat unorthodox or to some, even scary? Here is what John Steinbeck said:

When I was very young and the urge to be someplace else was on me, I was assured by mature people that maturity would cure this itch…..

We all know that with John Steinbeck, this was far from true and he was never cured of this ailment. No matter what “they” said, he was always fevered with the urge to travel. For me, it’s the urge to write. But who has the time?

My daily life is very full, and draining I might add! So by the time I arrive home and do the usual chores, or God forbid, add to my routine the need to attend a meeting, or shop before going home, I am spent! There is no extra time for my writing and it has drug me farther and farther behind than I had imagined. I still have to finish the end of the book and have it edited. It’s really all I think about!

The thing that I love is giving me anxiety and that is worrisome. I say that because, I will always write. ALWAYS! But I don’t want the one thing I love and adore to bring me stress. Writing is what I’ve always done to relieve stress. Now I worry that the choices I make in my life, (because I’m middle aged now), might possibly be keeping me from achieving what I really want to be doing. Time management is not only important now for my daily life in getting things done, but also, because when one reaches middle age, you start wondering how much time you have to do all the things you really want to do.

 I want to be a novelist!

Looking at the youth of today, I try hard not to envy those with their whole lives ahead of them. There are always things everyone would do differently if they knew then what they know now. So I strive to stay grateful instead. I have to learn everything possibly about the publishing industry in order to get my book out, and a positive attitude is the only thing that will move me forward.

So where the heck have I been? I’ve been learning, reading, and living my daily life in between. Writing my book is my great joy, but that isn’t happening as often as I’d like. What a wonderful life it would be to be able to write daily for a living and not have to clock in for “work.”

It’s close. So close I can taste it! And I have made a decision, that if the literary group I’m targeting decides not to pick me up, then I’m going to self publish and get this book out. I’d really rather have the backing of a literary agent, but I’m not so set in that idea that I would wait an additional year pursuing a literary group. I will give it a limited amount of time, then set out on my own, if necessary.

And there you have it, my friends! That’s the scoop on where I’ve been and why I haven’t blogged in quite awhile. It’s a process, that’s for sure. But I will continue to keep you all abreast of the situation and take you all on this journey with me as it unfolds. Hug your loved ones, love your life, and pursue your dreams! No matter how big or small, we are all here for a reason. I don’t believe we’d have such strong emotional ties to our dreams if we weren’t meant to try and fulfill them.

*Watch picture from Google Images

Either Feast or Famine

  We went from this

(above pic by yours truly, Patti Diener)

TO THIS! (Above picture and next were provided at Lake County Awareness Group).

It’s amazing to me the cycles we go through living here in Lake County. I should be use to it. I’ve lived here since I was three, (those who know me know how many years THAT IS, without stating my age). But these last two fire seasons were so horrendous that I know we desperately needed the precipitation. I think we are good now folks!

If you are at all familiar with Nixle Notifications, I have to tell you, I’m really tired of hearing the chiming of my phone! Alarms are going off regularly telling  me of more and more road closures, mud slides, and flooding conditions in ours and surrounding counties. Thanks to the rain gods, but I think we could use a little break now.

When the kiddos I work with at my school complain about being held in for yet another rainy day recess, I just say, “Well think of how great the lakes, rivers, and creeks will be this summer for swimming!” I don’t tell them that I am just as tired of dreary days as they are because I’m trying to practice gratitude.

Staying positive days on end without sunshine can be difficult but I’ve become more faithful in taking my vitamin D and tell myself it’s a good thing. We’ve needed this rain. But it DOES seem like here in Northern Cali, it’s been feast or famine!

  What we need

is a better balance. When it comes to Mother Nature, it’s more about what we GET instead, that we have to deal with. So when I turn on the TV and see news of other states getting hammered with tornadoes and other extreme weather, I realize there probably isn’t anywhere truly beautifully weather balanced. There is always some kind of trade off, no matter where you live.

For us, living in Northern California, we get drought, flooding, life changing fires, and sometimes even earthquakes. We also get some of the most beautiful springtime wildflowers,  memorable summer nights, and spectacular sunsets! We have the ocean, the valleys and the mountains. It’s a trade off, like I said, and for some like me, it’s still worth it.

(Above pics taken by me, Patti Diener)

I understand this flooding has been postponing some much needed ground work for those wishing to rebuild their lives and homes here in Lake County after both of the Valley and Clayton Fires. For them, my heart goes out to you! There will be light, like today. We are going to see a better time with hope, and peace. But if you are having trouble seeing your light, know I am praying for you.

Enjoy this weather break today, and walk out into the sunshine! Believe you can and you will find some peace. That is my hope for you all today.

Unsung Heroes

 As I got out

of my car in front of the restaurant, I saw that I’d arrived at the exact same time as my friend. She and I dashed under the awning as quickly as we could to avoid the rain that was still drizzling down outside.

The café was very crowded and noisy at 10:00 in the morning on Saturday. We grabbed one of the last booth tables and settled in. First it was, “how’s the family?” And then more of, “what did you do last night?” I’ve known this lady most of her life and although she’s younger than me, she has the wisdom and maturity of someone who’s seen a lot. Catching up was so wonderful and I was very happy to hear that her family was all doing so well.

After the waiter took our order and brought around the coffee, I told her about my quest of writing a romance novel revolving around The Valley Fire, that took place more than a year ago on September 12, 2015.  Once she got the idea of what I’m doing , I asked about her perspective on the fire. You see, she’s a Lake County Sheriff’s Office Dispatcher.

I’m not using her name out of respect for her and her request that I don’t, but if you know who she is, you will understand. She’s a private person that holds a stressful job and carries herself stoically while doing it. Dispatching for more than a decade, she’s a veteran in a field that rarely gets recognition or praise. But that is the farthest reason why she does it anyway. She does it, “simply to serve.”

On September 12th, she was supposed to attend a friend’s wedding, but she never made it there. Instead, she embarked on a multi-day back to back shifts of dispatching due to one of the most devastating fires California has ever had.

On most days at the office, they have 2 dispatchers on. By the time this fire was in full force, they had up to 5 people and it was still crazy.

When the initial calls started coming in about The Valley Fire, it was a small fire in a residential area off of Cobb Mountain. It didn’t sound unordinary. But then she said it began to have spot fires and before they knew it, there were multiple fires sparking off of this one fire. They’d turned it over to Cal Fire by then and the calls really started to multiply as did the air traffic they were dealing with.

Now, something that can be noted, is weeks prior to this, there were two substantial fires called The Rocky Fire, and then The Jerusalem Fire, which were quite hairy in their own right. These preemptively helped in a way because the dispatchers were pretty well dialed in on what they needed to do for such disasters. However, they never could have imagined the enormity of what The Valley Fire would become. Nobody could.

They were calling up off duty people who were trying to leave town, or people on vacation to return and help. In all fields from Sheriff Deputies, to dispatchers, and any emergency personnel they could get, they were asked to assist. They had a Search and Rescue crew headed to training out of town and they too were asked to turn around and return as quickly as possible. The fire had morphed into not just some wild land fire, but this inferno that made it more important to evacuate and save lives now, and less important to save structures. And there were THOUSANDS OF SOULS that needed evacuating. It was all hands on deck!

When I asked how she handled it all personally, she said, “There was simply no time for personal feelings. We had a job to do, but you know a lot of these people on the other end of these radios are like family to us! We kept pushing it down and worked because they needed us. But when the calls we got were with people screaming in the background, and you could hear the roar of the fire….. it got pretty real!”

The fire had swept through the Cobb Mountain area so fast and there were so many people that had to evacuate, the emergency personnel tried to jump ahead of the fire and started warning people in Middletown to evacuate. Some of these people would get angry and say, “Well we don’t see any fire here yet and it’s quite a ways away from us so why do WE have to leave?”

These people had no idea what was coming and how unpredictable the fire was behaving. Most people cooperated but some simply didn’t listen until the last possible minute and then the traffic to leave was atrocious! The Hidden Valley Lake area was at risk next, so mandatory evacuations took place there next.

“When this happened I will never forget that one of our officers was in there trying to get people out,” my friend told me. “He came over the air and said, ‘I’m trapped and there’s no way for me to get out!’ After we heard him say that, for some reason, there was no other air traffic, no phone calls coming in, and complete and utter dead silence in the office. I will never forget that silence. It felt like time just stopped!”

We paused the interview there and let that sink in. We sipped our coffee and pondered how helpless that felt for her. She told me she just wished she could have done more. “I sit there in that climate controlled room all day and it’s hard to feel like you’ve done enough,” she said.

 I assured her

that everyone I’ve spoken with that had ANYTHING to do with this fire ALL, felt like they hoped they’d done enough. They all wished they could have done more. Each person from emergency services people, to basic citizens, had all felt like they wished there was more they could have done.

“Of course, shortly after we heard him screaming for help to get out of there, and we experienced our deafening silence, we heard another one of our deputies get on the air and say he’d not only been able to save him, but his patrol car as well. They were both really lucky!” she told me.

Once the first initial day and wave of terror had rolled over everyone, there were unbelievable phone calls they got from citizens offering up horse trailers to haul out animals. There were other people offering up their property to house these poor animals. Wonderful people of our community that just wanted to help called dispatch and they then put the word out.

My friend alone, worked that day from 6:00 in the morning until 10:00 that night, doing what she could before she felt safe enough to leave for awhile and go home to rest. Sixteen hours working at dispatch at high levels of stress, with people crying, screaming, and panicking on the other end of the line. Countless people’s lives that were forever changed and she had to somehow compartmentalize these sounds, feelings, and memories, and she turned right around and was back at it the next morning at 6:00am. She did this for twelve days straight. If she was off duty during that time, she was still not to go more than 30 minutes away from dispatch office in case they needed her to return in a hurry. This, of course DID happen, that while she was away, she was called right back in. Everyone was basically “on call,” and tensions were very high.

  In my mind

these people who we call when we dial 911, are true heroes! They are the first people we talk to in any crisis, and they are the ones that get help to come. They are the unsung heroes that are usually faceless to us, but the voice of an angel when you are crying out for help.

“In the end, we still have a job to do. It’s the spirit to serve that keeps me going. I never forget that,” she told me. “No matter what kind of day I’m having or what is going on in my personal life, when I drive to work I have this mantra that I say over and over. It’s the spirit to serve, the spirit to serve, the spirit to serve. I say it like a meditation almost. That’s what keeps me going. Because I’ve lived in this county for such a long time, these people I work for are my family out there. The word, community is an underrated word. It means far more than we can verbally express. So I will continue to have the spirit to serve for my community. they are family.”

I am especially grateful for this interview and again feel we are all indebted to all dispatch personnel for what they do for our communities every day.

* Photos from Google Images