We’ve come so far!

It’s difficult

to put all our feelings into their categorical boxes. Sometimes they don’t fit and it overflows. When it overflows, it can happen at the most un-opportune moment. At the grocery store, in the bank, when you are driving, or at work! These are times when we do a lot of self talk like, “Why can’t I get it together? Not here, not here! I should be over this by now!

Like a death, a divorce, or any other kind of loss, losing your home and all your worldly possessions will take each person a different amount of grieving time. And the grieving will be very unique to each person feeling the loss. Bottom line is, there is no right or wrong way folks. Start by being gentle with yourself and get through it one day at a time.

Knowing you are not dealing with this alone is crucial! There were literally thousands of people that this Valley Fire effected. If you feel like you need the camaraderie of others in pain, my friend just informed me of a “Rebuilding Resilience Event.” It is happening this Saturday, May 14th at the Middletown High School. From what I understand, it’s to help all those who are struggling with the aftermath of the fire and it’s FREE! They will have workshops to help folks deal with their problems and I hear it’s from 10-3. Maybe contact the high school for more information, but it sounds like a good place to start!

So many of the people I talk to keep saying how they know they should feel grateful to just be alive. But somebody needs to say too, that if some days you are just pissed off, then that is ok too! It’s part of the process and you are human! Eventually, there will be fewer days that you are pissed and more and more days of gratitude.

I was having a conversation with someone who brought up an idea that I thought of many times and then dismissed it again, thinking it was impossible in today’s day and age. But here’s the thought:

Remember back in the day, (and by back in the day, I mean watching old westerns and anything Amish), they use to hold “barn raising parties?” Why isn’t that something that could work in a time like this? I mean, our community is chalk FULL of contractors, engineers, heavy equipment operators, draftsmen, plan check peeps……WHY couldn’t something like that be organized? Why have we strayed so far from working for and with our neighbors that it couldn’t be done? Someone could form a committee and get a group of folks to start it up, have property owners sign up to do it, and each one helps the other.

Yea, yea, I know. That’s a pipe dream. But I still think there is something there that could be looked into. We’ve come so far already, with the shelters, supplies, donations, clean up, PG&E lines, cable and phone lines, ………now it’s time to rebuild, if folks want to, and WHY NOT some form of a barn raising, (home raising), group? Hmmmmm just food for thought.

Next blog: The book is getting a TITLE! You will hear the final decision on the book title and steps for moving forward with it.

Sneak peaks into the first chapter coming soon, and later, info from an interview I did with an emergency personnel. Hope the rest of your week is easy on you.

After The Fire…….or not? Name that book!

Book Cover    It started out as

After The Fire, but one Sunday afternoon, as I was sitting in my dining room, clicking away at the chiclets of my laptop, my husband came in and sat across from me in the rocking chair that I once used to rock my babies in. He waited patiently for me to stop pounding out my thoughts on the computer before he spoke.

When I paused, made eye contact and then said, “What’s up?” he started out cautiously, choosing his words carefully.

“I know I don’t understand much about this writing stuff, but I think you should change the title of your book,” he almost winced when he said it.

My first thought was, he was crazy because I’d already divulged the title to hundreds of friends, Twitter followers, and a couple of agents. Too late now. Or is it? I decided to hear him out.

“I had this idea of a phoenix, rising out the ashes. Out Of The Ashes, is your book title. See a phoenix is a cyclical creature that regenerates itself, rising once again, like the sun, out of the ashes and is more powerful then before. Can you see it?”

I like the idea, but it’s been used in the last decade. Even though you cannot copywrite a title of either a song, or book, I’m still hesitant. But it IS a good idea. I could write a preface with the history of the Greek myth of the phoenix. What a great analogy. But too corny? I can’t decide.

Anyway, I originally came up with After The Fire because my book takes place……AFTER THE FIRE! Haaaaa! Too obvious? I don’t know. But the title is very important.

I could really use your input. Please comment on this with your thoughts and I will also put it up on Facebook and Twitter. By the end of the week, (May 13th) I will post the winning title, based upon your votes and insight.

Next Blog: I am going to share some of the information I have been receiving this week from other survivors/victims of the fire. Good, bad, and indifferent. The one thing I can attest to, is so many are still going through it. BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Hang tough my friends!

Also, an idea given to me that I had a passing thought of myself, for advice to our community on how to possible push up over the proverbial red-tape hill. That’s coming up shortly.

Here’s hoping all the moms out there are having a splendid Mother’s Day!  Remember, we are given the immense privilege to be called by the name of MOM, and we hold that title for the rest of our lives. It’s pretty damn amazing don’t you think?

 

Who is Gabriel Hart?

Gabriel Hart is

the main character (protagonist) in my book. The title was AFTER THE FIRE, but my husband would like me to put it to a vote because of an idea he has. We will get into that in another blog………..back to Gabriel.

Now, I have written him as a dark haired, blue eyed man, around 33 and not drop dead gorgeous, but quite a looker. He’s 5’10” tall, muscular build and a heavy equipment operator/foreman for an excavating company out of the East Bay.

I couldn’t find any men to photograph that fit this profile. I will need to work on it because THIS GUY, (above), is almost too pretty. You get the jest though. Moving on.

Gabriel is from Oklahoma and raised by parents that had land, farmed, and his father and uncles all taught him to run heavy equipment. From dozers, to backhoes, swathers, and excavators, Gabriel has run them all at one time or another.

When a vacation to California finds him love, Gabe moves on a whim to be with her. They live together in San Ramon and are engaged when tragedy hits. On Christmas Eve they are in a fatal car crash on interstate 680, killing his fiancée and Gabriel himself, is injured quite badly.

After recovering, a very sensitive soul, Gabriel feels loath to ever date after the death of Shelly, his fiancée. He buries himself in work at the excavating company he is employed at and refuses dinner dates with friends. Slowly, Gabe becomes somewhat of a hermit. He takes on extra work and eventually is the foreman of their best crew.

When the Valley Fire hits Lake County, Gabe’s company contracts to send them to do clean up. There were so many homes destroyed and all the different government agencies were rallying troops to help out. Gabe was fine with leaving for as long as it took to help out. He had nothing keeping him at home anyway. Not even a pet.

Gabriel is a loner, but sensitive and loyal. He is a good man with a great heart. Somewhat shy, he usually keeps to himself. He doesn’t back out of a conversation with a stranger, he just doesn’t usually initiate conversation. He believes in doing the right thing, he loves his family, but since he’s an only child, found it hard to return to family after the death of Shelly. His parents would only baby him and he had survivor’s guilt as it was.

Pressing on in California, Gabe found it easier to become invisible. If he returned to Oklahoma, he’d just be badgered  with questions from family friends and his cousins. His and Shelly’s friends in California,  respected him not wanting to date or talk about it.

Meeting Sarah McKinney in Lake County, California, was the furthest thing on his mind. He never thought his heart could be pulled so quickly. She didn’t even have to look at him. He merely saw her eyes. Those pained, beautifully mysterious, eyes! Instantly he was intrigued.

If you want to know more about Gabriel Hart and Sarah McKinney, you will have to keep reading the blog. I will eventually post the first chapter of the book.

Next Blog: I will be enlisting your advice! I need a vote to go out on my blog, Facebook, and Twitter, to tell me your thoughts on the book title. No spoilers for what else it might be. Just read next blog. Haaaa! After all, I’m writing this for ALL of us. You should weigh in on the title.

Wishing you all a painless Friday to get to our weekend.

When the scanner went off

138   If you don’t know,

my husband of 25 years, (we’ve been together 30), is a battalion chief for Lake County Fire. He’s been fighting fire since he was a senior in high school. Before I met him, my father was a volunteer firefighter when I was growing up. A scanner has always shared residence with me for as long as I can remember. It is because of this, that you must understand, I don’t get worked up easily over listening to calls anymore.

That is, until September 12, 2015.

It was an unusual Saturday, that we both would be home at the same time together. With rotating schedules and ranch work, my husband is on the run a lot. Charlie had his “little brother,” as we refer to his pager, nearby and it went off, toning a neighboring station. He wasn’t on duty but after the Rocky and Jerusalem Fires, he was a little nervous to be without it.

A fire was toned off and before long, mutual aid was being asked for. Charlie had a look about him and I turned up the volume on our scanner to listen more closely and also to hear what was being said on other frequencies.

The sound in the voices of the men on the radio sent my heart racing and a wash of adrenaline pounded throughout my body. This was no ordinary fire. I looked at my husband who had grown quiet and was quickly changing into his fire gear. Looking outside, the wind was picking up. Then we heard it. The panicked voice of a fireman over the radio like I’d never heard from a veteran firefighter. “Send me everything you’ve got. We need immediate evacuations!”

“It’s bad isn’t it?” I asked Charlie. He looked at me and gave me a quick kiss before running out the door.

“This is it! This is the one we’ve always worried about. I’ll try to call you,” and just like that, he was gone.

I was left standing in my living room glued to the scanner. The next few minutes seemed like an eternity went by, with me intermittently running outside to look at the sky, then running back in to listen to the scanner. What could I do?

Warning people to get out was all I could think of and I was wondering who I knew that might not have a clue how serious it was. I ran to my school’s phone  list of numbers for a snow chain, in case school is closed due to snow. I looked down at the numbers and tried to remember who lived on Cobb Mountain, where they were evacuating.

When I found one of our teacher’s numbers I called her, half hoping nobody answered and half worried they would. On the third ring, a man answered. It was her husband. I asked if she was home and tried to not panic that they were there. He said she was out. That’s when I lost my cool.

“YOU HAVE TO GET OUT! THE FIRE IS COMING! GET OUT NOW! GO QUICKLY!”

All he managed was, “Ok, ok, ok,” then he hung up. I wanted to cry. Then I realized, I hadn’t even identified myself and I worried he wouldn’t take me seriously.

Alone with my dogs and bags still packed to leave from the previous fires we’d had, I tried to survey what else I’d need in case we too had to leave. The scanner was on full blast as I paced around nervously. I’d heard Charlie a few times coordinating with his department and Cal Fire for what they needed from him, but then didn’t hear his voice again.

The barrage of voices overlapped on the radio. Central dispatch was working double-time to keep up. Grown men’s voices cracked when they spoke, with urgency like I’d never heard. The calls were coming in for people requiring assistance in evacuating. People without cars. Elderly in wheelchairs. I felt helpless.

The next few hours were insane to say the least. I turned on the news as well as kept the scanner up. Calling my father, who lived in Clearlake to update him as much as I could, kept me company. I talked with my older daughter who lived in Clearlake Oaks, and told her our house was safe and it wasn’t coming towards Lower Lake as far as I could tell, but they were concerned about Middletown and were starting to evacuate there too.

When our younger daughter got home, she too listened with me and was concerned but not as alarmed as I was. This is where I get confused about whether she stayed or not, because I think she went to her boyfriend’s in Clearlake. All I remember of that night was staying awake until 2:00 in the morning, listening to the scanner and television, and realizing Middletown was burning, and it was headed into Hidden Valley Lake, where thousands of people lived as well.

There was a woman in labor trying to evacuate with a medic from Hidden Valley, and there was mayhem with hundreds of cars trying to flee the flames on a two lane highway. People were driving on the wrong side of the road in blind faith, trying to get ahead of others and escape the fire. Some abandoned their cars and started running. What I heard all night was nothing short of Hell and pandemonium!

Charlie eventually came by the house to let me know he was ok and headed up to our ranch because the fire was headed over the hill from Cobb and down towards Lower Lake. We have a 30 acre vineyard up there and around the same in walnuts, with countless more in brush land and a home place that’s been in the family over 100 years. Our neighbors that live up there range from middle aged to quite elderly, with one gentleman nearing 90 and living alone. Some of them had horses too. Charlie was very concerned for all of them.

With a momentary argument about whether or not he would recruit our kids and their friends to come up and help put out spot fires around the home place, ( I freaked out and said NO), he then realized it would put me over the edge emotionally and retracted his thought. Then he grabbed some snacks for his rig and was out the door again before dawn. I think I might has slept with the TV on for 2 hours fitfully that night.

By the next day, our yard at Diener Ranch was full of engines from out of town, (the pic above). They’d drove all night to help from everywhere!

141  These pics are awful since they were taken

by Charlie’s ancient phone, but this one was from Los Angeles County. I was amazed how far people came to help. We needed it too because our resources were stripped due to a simultaneous fire burning in Calaveras County. Northern Cal needed help in the worst way!

I didn’t see Charlie for three days. He didn’t come home to sleep and during this time he was an Operations Chief working a crew and three dozers going non-stop to make a fire break behind ours and our neighbor’s property, trying to keep the fire from running again. This saved all their homes by the skin of their teeth, burning right to the backyard of one of them, (thank God for the dozers)!

There is more I could say about the following days, but for now I can just say that I worried for the safety of our friends, their homes and animals, and mostly for my husband. He was working so hard without rest I didn’t know if he’d collapse or get too rummy in the head to make smart choices. But as he said, they ALL worked like that. He lived off caffeine and adrenaline. I will say though, when he finally slept, he was out for a long while!

Next Blog: I will share more about the protagonist from my book, Gabriel Hart.

Once again, please share your thoughts, feelings, and if you want, your experiences during or after the Valley Fire. I can put some of it in the book if you’d like me to create a character for you, or I will use your real names if you want. We were all in this together. You can post it as a comment here, or email me at punkandude@gmail.com with YOUR BLOG in the subject matter. I will get back to you as soon as possible. Remember, you can stay anonymous if you like.

Have a good week ahead friends.

 

 

As promised, The Synopsis

cropped-Spring-Sunset.jpg  Writing a synopsis that you pitch to an agent can be very daunting! Talk about rewrites! I must have written my pitch a ton of times then while standing in line to pitch it, I changed everything I was going to say! The worst part is if you ask me now what I actually said, my mind is blank because I was so damn nervous. Before I share the true synopsis though, I want to share with you a conversation I had with my dear friend over breakfast yesterday, in Kelseyville, California.

“So tell me about your book!”

“I guess if I had to explain the reason I made it a romance is because I felt we needed a happy ending around here. The fire, we all know was catastrophic! But my characters, Gabriel and Sarah, are to the Valley Fire, what Jack and Rose were to the Titanic. A love story,” I said.

“Oh, my Gosh Patti! That’s what you should have said to the agent! I completely get it now!”

So in hindsight, I guess I should have used that analogy. However, the fun part is the agent that was most interested said it sounded like a Nicholas Sparks book or movie. This made me happy because I’m a huge fan of his and yes, that is exactly how I envisioned it. Very Nicholas Sparks meets Danielle Steel or Nora Roberts.

So here goes:

When Gabriel Hart came to Lake County, California, after the Valley Fire burned more than a 1,000 homes, all he had in mind was to help rebuild the community.  After the loss of his own fiancée three years earlier, love was the furthest thing on his mind. But when his job put him up in a local hotel, he saw the most enchanting woman with green eyes.

Helping the fire victims to clean up their home sites on Cobb Mountain, Gabriel runs into this intriguing woman once again. She was helping a friend sift through the rubble of her burned home site. Maybe it was fate that brought them together.

In this story of catastrophic loss, community support, and renewed hope, two damaged souls try to mend their hearts while assisting those who lost virtually everything in the fire.

I will also tell you that I began the pitch with a word count and genre, which is about 80K words and a romance novel. They require that kind of info when they meet you.

Well, as I have said before in my previous post, you may comment and leave info about your experiences if you’d like to contribute to the book, or if you’d rather stay private, please email me at punkandude@gmail.com and in the subject matter write YOUR BLOG. I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Hope you all have a blessed Sunday and do something relaxing.

 

In The Beginning…

DSC02722

Hello, I’m Patti (Patricia) Diener.

I have always written as a creative outlet, but in the aftermath of Lake County’s Valley Fire, in September of 2015, I was not only compelled to write about it, but it was really all I could think of. With more than 1,000 homes lost and over 10,000 people in our community evacuated, the separation of families, and lost pets……. It was a kind of Armageddon that veteran firefighters called one of the most devastating California has ever seen.

What stood out to me as the most amazing thing though, was the undeniable compassion of humanity. Strangers helping one another in ways that you never see on the evening news. Stories that I heard and scenes that I witnessed, after such a catastrophic event, were not only uplifting, but inspirational. It gave me renewed faith in people.

So armed with stories, I set out to write a book of hope. A romance, I thought, of two people who were impacted very differently by this unspeakable atrocity. A man named Gabriel Hart, and a woman named Sarah McKinney, who’s lives would intertwine in the happenstance of their meeting after the fire.

But then I had an idea. The people that Gabe meets, (in the book), all have their stories of the fire. Their stories are of what happened to them during the fire, during their displacement for weeks, and their stories of how they are still trying to move forward and heal. These are real stories of real people!

My mission was to pay a tribute to the people of my community, with giving them a story with a happy ending. A story of love, camaraderie, and hope, is the best way I know to shed light in the darkness of such tragedy.

It was my hope, and great honor, to share anyone’s story in this book either as a character in it, or anonymously portrayed. There was, and still is, much healing that needs to happen. I know from other life experiences with great loss, sometimes just being heard and telling your story can be therapeutic. I hope I was able to help in some way by saying, you are not alone. I pray each person who experienced loss from this inferno, and any subsequent fires since then, has found not only a new beginning, but most importantly, peace.

Lake County is a special community and if I have anything to say about it, we will be on the map now, not because of the fires we’ve had around here, but because of the wonderful people who pulled together to rise out of the ashes and persevere. We are stronger together.