It’s quiet.
The outside morning air is sweet with the smell of dewy grass and my dog, Bailey, is wandering around smelling the scents from nocturnal animals that visited us last night. Coffee is my friend. Together with my dog and beverage I am trying desperately to begin this day in peace.
What the hell is happening in the world now? I am trying to push it down and live in this very moment of silence. This is why I’m only an average meditator. I try but am only good about half the time with sitting still and quieting my mind. The events of recent years and recent days fill my head with noise.
The fires are only a fraction of what fills my mind. They were and for some still are catastrophic. But the continued loss , (family and friends dying), and continued natural disasters, just keep mounting to the point I’m overwhelmed and in near tears all the time. I just want to hide! Go into hiding from life where I can merely just exist…….. if for only awhile.
But of course, I won’t. Instead I try to catch moments of solitude and pray, listen to music, read, take pictures, or write. These things are my therapy. And once I nourish the parts of me that are suffering inside, I am good to contribute to my little part of the world again. The people I love, who I need, and who need me.
In our times of helping those with loss, I reflect to a time my father talked about and times I’ve only read about in books. During WWII, the small towns across America were filled with people bonding together. They did everything to become united! Households all looked after each other’s kids and families pulled together in times of great loss. Whole communities were family! I believe this sort of thing is catching on in Lake County! I feel it all around me.
These next few days are going to be nothing short of colossally difficult. Funerals are something I avoided most of my life but have unfortunately become unusually good at organizing these past several years. Since the loss of my sister Jill, I have found myself going onto auto pilot to just do what needs to be done. In the end, you just hope you have honored that person in a way that they know how much you loved them.
Life is a journey that takes us along like a boat on a river. Some days it’s calm, others it’s white caps, treacherously rushing! In the end though I know it’s all worth it. When we hurt, it’s because we loved! I wouldn’t miss feeling that love even if you promised me forever calm, still waters. And when I’m crying and look up to a beautiful sky, I know our loved ones are still with us, smiling and saying it’s ok.
I am grateful to be in a place where I know my neighbors. Where we can all count on one another. Today is my time to help the ones who need me. It’s just what we do here in small town U.S.A., and I am very proud to be part of this community. I pray God will lighten the load on all those who are suffering, and bring peace and comfort to those in need.
Have a blessed Sunday.
