Tag: midlife

Sitting on the Fence

Why did it take me so damn long to figure this out?

I just want to have fun. That’s it. When I turned 50, I told myself I just wanted to follow all the things that made me feel happy and filled me with joy. Writing is one of those things.

Over the past few years, I’ve written three books and published exactly ZERO of them. None. I have had this idea in my head that I was holding onto them to wait for the “perfect person,” (a.k.a. Literary Agent), to find it irresistible and want nothing more than to partner with me and champion it into the world.

With the amount of people out there trying to publish a novel every day, I might have better chances at winning the lottery. Some years ago, there was this statistic that literary agents get an average of over 300 emails a day. A DAY! How is that possible? How could I expect to be picked out of that pile? And that’s only the beginning. An agent has to SELL your book to a publishing house. And even if they love it and buy your book, it takes over a year after their editors get a hold of it and want you to do more re-writes, before it will ever even see the light of day on a bookshelf in your neighborhood bookstore.

So when my lovely writing coach asked me why it was that I was so set on getting a traditional publishing contract, I thought it was so I would get a bigger team behind me and that I’d have my books in more libraries across the country, and in the bigger stores, she smiled. Apparently, most of the marketing and book tours are no longer hosted by the publisher anymore. Also, advances are strung out over a two year period and often, royalties aren’t as much as if you’d have just published the damn thing yourself.

I knew this somewhere in the back of my brain. There was more to my holding back than I was willing to admit.

I needed validation.

If I am traditionally published, I was feeling that THEN…and only then would I have “made it,” in the industry. That self-publishing only meant that nobody worthy really liked my book.

THAT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!

I have a following. YOU are reading this and you matter. I love you readers that have supported me and YOU deserve to get my book now. Not when some yahoo out there decides I’m worthy. And I have the knowledge and power to get this done. Waiting for outside validation is only my ego talking, and as Dr. Wayne Dyer always said…EGO is when you Edge God Out.

So…I’m going to hire another editor, (my lovely Jen Graybeal is coaching now but no longer editing), I’m going to self-publish my books as soon as I feel they are ready, and will for the forseeable future.

If I decide to try my hand at traditionally publishing again, I’ll do it all on my terms, and not wait around and hold onto something for years again. As of now, I have THE CLOCK TOWER OF MAPLE CREEK, ready to be edited and it will publish in 2025, along with the second book in the series, probably around this time next year. That’s right… two books will launch in 2025 by Patti Diener. I’d imagine the final third book in the series will publish early 2026.

Damn, that feels good.

So if you liked what you read on WILDFLOWER, from my previous blog post, know this; I will do a few re-writes, (as per Jen suggested I do), but if after that, the agents don’t have time for me, I’ll self-publish that too.

I’m in the freakin’ driver seat.

I love you all so much for putting up with my doubt, ramblings and indecisiveness on how to get my books out to you. It’s a journey, learning what and how to proceed in publishing. But I can’t wait around forever, and I have a shit-ton of books in my head I want to write before I meet my maker. And now, I’m super excited I’ve made this choice.

PLEASE…if you want to support me, just share my already published book, AFTER THE FIRE, with anyone who hasn’t read it, and please keep looking out for more of my books in 2025.

Xoxo ~ Patti

*PHOTOS were courtesy of pexel.com, other than my featured photo.

Jumping Into the Deep End

Back in the Querying Saddle Again

It’s like being a kid with all your friends casually treading water with smiles on their faces, daring you to take the plunge. The water’s fine, they say. But what they don’t tell you is the water, although it sparkles and looks enticingly refreshing, can be shocking and icy. It’s sink or swim baby! And if you want to play with them in the deep end, you better figure it out quick. There are other people lined up, waiting on the diving board for their turn and their place in the pool.

Ok, so maybe that analogy isn’t the best, but it does feel like that when you are a writer trying to break into traditional publishing. I’ve written five books so far and only published the second one, and that by self-publishing. I didn’t want my friends and dare I say… fans, to wait for my book, After the Fire, to be picked up in the trad-pub world, so I did it myself. It was really well recieved, (thanks to you loyal people who have stuck it out with me from the beginning), but I really want a team behind me. I’m ready to dive in.

With my book, The Clock Tower of Maple Creek, not being picked up after several attempts for representation, I set it aside to write something new. Back in September of 2023, I started Wildflower, and finished it this early spring of 2024. Since then I have done three rounds of edits and shared several chapters with my fantastic writing group, The Kick-Ass Women Writers. I wrote and tore apart to rewrite my query three different times and finally landed on the current one I’m sending out to select agents. You just never know for sure if the query will resonate with the person you are trying to connect with. It’s always a gamble, and like I said, there are already a lot of kids in the proverbial pool.

I’ll share with you the meat of my query so you can get an idea of what my book is about. I’m in love with my characters and dream of them often. Yes, they are real to me. Does that make me crazy? Well aren’t all writers a tad insane? Below is the sample without the salutations or closing bio.

What happens when the handsome guy you met over the summer ends up being your substitute English teacher? Charlie Kane finds out as she struggles with the agony of forbidden love, the heartbreak of a broken family, and dreams of one day leaving it all behind to pursue a life as a professional artist.

The summer leading up to her senior year in high school, seventeen-year-old Charlie Kane’s life is in shambles. An intellectual outcast with an unfavorable reputation, she has nowhere to turn, living in poverty with her addictive mother, in their small northern California town.

Twenty-four-year-old Jack Connors has just left a dead-end job in Los Angeles and is house and dog sitting for his uncle in Sebastopol, California, trying to decide his next career move when he meets a beautiful, if somewhat unruly girl on the street.

Although the two have instant chemistry, neither learns much about the other. Then worlds collide on Charlie’s first day of her senior year when she walks into her English class and comes face to face with the tall and gorgeous stranger…and he’s the teacher.

Inspired by the 1972 song, “Wildflower”, by Skylark, The Police hit, “Don’t Stand So Close to Me”, and the mother-daughter relationship of Cloud and Tully from Kristin Hannah’s, Firefly Lane, Wildflower, is edited at 100K words and told in dual POV. This book will appeal to female fans of Colleen Hoover, Jojo Moyes, or Josie Silver.

So wish me luck on this querying journey I’m embarking upon once again. In the meanwhile, I’ll be writing with the hubby on his children’s book he’s making and learning more about the picture book industry. That’s what’s happening in my world. Thanks for stopping by.

Sending you all much love. Xoxo ~ Patti D.

*Swimming pool photo and girl with tattoo are courtesy of pexels.com. Others are mine / Patti Diener

Life in the Fast Lane

Juggling My Writing Life, Traveling, and Attempting to Appear Normal

I keep telling myself that I’m going to get a little part-time job to fulfill my need and desire to squirrel away some dough for my travel nest-egg. You know… play money. I mean, hubby and I are doing fine if I don’t, but I often feel guilty using our household money for my egocentric, self-absorbed, hairbrained ideologies of world travel, (for which The Mister has little interest in). But at the end of the day, my retired days are filled to the brim with activities that leave little to no room for me to work in a job.

What’s a girl to do?

Recently I went on a roadtrip with my hubby across part of the US on a three week adventure. You can see from the above photo of me that I took this journey very seriously. I figured if they didn’t want me on the dinosaur they shouldn’t have put a saddle on him. The Mister might not be super enthused about world travel but seeing the United States, he’s totally up for. This included fourteen states, seeing friends and family, a total eclipse, dodging storms, and witnessing the complications and dangers of breeding thoroughbred race horses. That’s an education you can never un-see again. As my brother-in-law pointed out, she doesn’t even get dinner and a movie first.

But in small snippets of time along the way, I was able to sneak in moments of solitude to finish up my novel, WILDFLOWER. I will share a draft of the first chapter in a coming blog post. This is a project I started back in September of 2023, and right after I returned home from our trip, within days I had my first draft completed. I cried of course. I usually do whenever I finish my first draft of a novel. Anyway, since I’m now in the editing stages, about to leave again for Arizona for my niece’s graduation, and then will embark on another solo journey up the coast of Oregon to see my first-born, who has the time to apply for a little three-day-a-week jobette?

Not this girl.

Another thing about being retired is the fact that some days arrive and I’m unsure of what day of the week we are on. The weeks driving without my schedule and structure, I seem to have become a bit crazed. Also, my house is now full of things we brought back from Kentucky, (boxes, furniture, and paperwork), that have been dropped off into corners and on tabletops left for “someday when we can get to it.” I try to go through a few boxes a day while returning to my writing schedule and picking up the pieces of business left unattended to after three weeks. But honestly, my house looks like some kind of highfalitin flea market, or an antique store with pieces of the past piled in places you have to weed through. I’m craving some order around here, but that will come in time.

In the meanwhile, my brain has been on some kind of awakening. Call it spring, call it monkey-mind, but my dreams have been crazy weird and seem to take up all night long, so that when I wake in the morning I feel as if I’ve been vacationing in another universe and not been alseep the last eight hours. Wild. I am forcing myself to walk during the day more, drink more water, and probably need to add some magnesium to calm my mind but I never think of these things until I’ve lost my noodle a bit. Either way, it makes for some interesting conversation, these wacked dreams.

I’m looking forward to querying agents about my new book though, so editing has been pretty exciting and fairly pleasureable. Most of the time I dread the editing but this go-around I’m having fun with it. I’ve also connected with some wonderful women in a new writing group. I cannot recommend writing groups enough. Getting that support and constructive critisism has always been crucial for me. I welcome input and have also been extremely fortunate to have had Jennifer Lynn Alvarez, (author of eleven novels, including YA thrillers LIES LIKE WILDFIRE, and FRIENDS LIKE THESE), as a personal friend who gives me honest and helpful feedback. If you are writing, find a group of people to bounce ideas off of. It’s invaluable.

Me at Elton John’s Piano

So in the coming months, I will be sharing more about my latest book WILDFLOWER, the quest to find the perfect agent to represent it, and I promise to give you snippets from the early pages. Its another romance novel but moves away from the sweet style I wrote before in THE CLOCKTOWER of MAPLE CREEK. This one is darker and has more drama.

Like I always talked about when I recorded podcast episodes in BEAUTIFUL SECOND ACT, (which is still available to listen to), I encourage you to get out there and explore your own desires. To chase the things that light you up and make you feel excited to greet the day. Plan a trip with a friend. Get to know your community as if you were a tourist. Travel to a neighboring community and find out what fun things can be discovered, or start a new hobby. Life is a journey that is meant to be fully enjoyed. Be grateful for life’s simple pleasures as well as the wonderful milestones of your time. They are equally important.

And please know I truly appreciate your love and support as I maneuver through my own crazy path on this publishing journey. Without you, the readers, who would know about my wild imagination? I’m profoundly grateful.

*All photos are mine / Patti Diener

Something Interesting Is Happening

It Took Me A While To Get Here

When I retired at the age of 53, most people thought I’d lost my mind. What the hell do you think you are doing? That was the reaction most people had until they realized I was serious, that I was done with public education and being a K-7 librarian just wasn’t what it used to be. Then they changed their tune. At least to my face they did, and there were well-wishers all around, encouraging me to go do my thing.

The first thing I did was dive head first into everything that I enjoyed, wearing all the hats. Truly, I tried to learn everything I could shove into my brain in the alotted amount of time my ass would allow me to sit in a chair each day. Writing my next novel was first priority, or so I told myself it would be. But the guilt of not bringing in as much money as I once did sort of made me feel like I had to build an at home business that might be more promising than banking on the concept of selling my next novel, since I’d only ever self-published. I had lofty ideas.

I started a podcast,…as one does in midlife when they are trying to figure themselves out. It was incredibly hard, super time consuming, and I loved ever single minute of it. I interviewed people from all over the world, we chatted about the incredible changes life throws at us and how valuable, wise, and vital we all still are even though we are past the age of fifty and gravity has long since become a real bitch. Despite the fact that we’ve hit menopause, need therapy, and are struggling to decide whether to color the gray or not, we’ve also discovered the powerful feeling of freedom that aging brings. I for one, have never been happier than I am now in my mid-fifties, (I’m fifty-five).

Along the way, I wrote a book that I queried agents about and proposed as the first in a trilogy. I started the second one, then tabled it for a wildly better idea. In between times though, I’d started a paid monthly membership to go along with the podcast, and Facebook group. I also started a book club, because obviously I didn’t have enough going on already. Did I mention I’m married too? And for some weird reason, my husband actually wanted to see my face once in a while and liked a home cooked meal periodically. This required that I get out of my cave and away from my computer now and then.

I was cruising along, nearing the two-year mark for this community I’d built, when I decided to host a live, in-person event. This went well, if not fairly small, but it was well received. I, along with my co-host who works for The Blue Zones, gave away swag, we each held a talk, and refreshments were served. It was fun. It was exhausting. I never did it again. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I realized I hate organizing shit and would much rather just show up, speak, and drink wine.

Me with Dad at my wedding day 1991

Then the most unthinkable thing happened. The person I’d leaned on my entire life and who always seemed to have the best guidance and advice for me, died. My father, my rock, the center pole to our circus in life, left this earth and I was not only shattered, I was in shock. I shouldn’t have been, as he’d been ill for a while, but you never really believe you will have to go on without your father.

But go on I did, because five days after he passed, I was scheduled to go to England, on my first ever trip abroad. I’d never even had a passport until just before this trip and although I told the family I thought there was no way I could go, they all insisted I do just that. “Dad would have wanted you to go!” they all said. Of course I knew they were right.

The trip was magical and surreal all at the same time. The majestic structures that held secrets of ancient times cast a spell on me that made it impossible to feel badly that I was actually enjoying myself, when only days before my father took his last breath. An adventurer himself, I knew Dad was smiling down at me and proud I’d been brave enough to go.

But something shifted over the next few months. Something that slowly, layer by layer started to shift inside of me again, causing me to take notice that my spirit was trying to tell me something. I had to listen.

Part of it was my deeper inner-knowing, and the other part was Dad telling me to stop wasting time doing what I thought I ought to be doing and get going doing that thing I’ve always known I was born to do. Write!

The membership long gone, the book club a thing of the past, I realized that as much as I loved the podcast, it was eating away precious time that I needed in order to be a successful traditionally published author. That has always been my dream. Self-publishing gave me the first taste of success as a writer, as my novel After the Fire, sold really well (before Covid), and the first few months I was an Amazon Best Seller. But I had to pick a lane. All the multi-tasking was not allowing me to be fully successful in either the podcast or with my books.

So I’ve announced to the Beautiful Second Act Community, that it was fun while it lasted, but those doors are closing and I’m stepping into a different place where writing will be the main event. It’s all I’ve ever truly wanted since I was ten years old and started writing stories.

The interesting thing is, after all my mentoring people to live their best life in the second half of life, I’m just now going all in for myself. Maybe the gods or spirits wanted me to create Beautiful Second Act, for the people I needed to reach. To send the message out there to whoever needed to hear it, that it’s never too late to do that thing your heart desires. To take a chance and be brave enough to challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone. To not only eat the cake and drink the wine, but grow as a spiritual being and allow yourself to reach higher, dig deeper, and live fully.

But most importantly, to stop disappointing yourself for fear that doing what you really want will disappoint others. We must stop betraying our own needs and desires because we are too afraid it will upset someone else. That’s the worst kind of betrayal. Depriving yourself your own longing and not being true to who you are because it suits others. No one wins if we do that.

So jump in the deep end with me my friend. Do what lights you up inside and gives you enthusiasm. When 2024 hit, I promised myself that my word for the year was INTENTION, and I’m focusing all my energy on the intention to be traditionally published. So I’ll be blogging more on this, staying focused on the writing community, author life, and honing my craft to be the best I can be. I appreciate your support.

Xoxo ~ Patti

*All photos are mine / Patti Diener

An Attitude of Gratitude!

How I’m handling my search for a literary agent

Staying in the right frame of mind has been something I’ve struggled with most of my life. I am good for quite a while then BOOM! Disappointment strikes and I used to fall flat on my face, (or into a tub of ice cream, or a bottle of wine). These days, I’m different.

Being a middle aged person has it’s benefits. I’ve learned so much over the years and the biggest lesson I think I’ve learned is to not be too obsessed over expected outcomes. It’s hard to put that into practice sometimes. But the first four decades of my life when I would cling so tightly to a scenerio in my mind for how things were supposed to be, always left me disheartened.

The saying, “Life is what happens when you are busy making plans,” is so true. We can have a plan and move towards that goal, but when things don’t go according to that plan it’s so important that we are flexible and able to pivot. At the very least, re-evaluate your approach. I am getting better at this.

In my search for the perfect agent to represent my work, I’ve gotten close and then fallen short. Like the ocean that ebbs and flows, I’ve moved forward and back many times with people having some interest and then it not being a good fit. This dance in the publishing industry is not one for the anxious or impatient. I’ve learned to be hopeful, put myself out there, and then let it go.

TRUST THE UNIVERSE.

So, as to not obsess. I put in the work, I query agents, and I’m still writing (lately two different novels). I’m not sitting around and wringing my hands praying day in, day out, that I will get an agent. I believe in divine timing. I have so many interests and many reasons to be joyful.

I love to travel!

I have a daily practice of gratitude. I really mean that too. I have to PRACTICE it. The more I practice the more joyful I become and it’s now an easier thing for me to do. One of the things I’m very grateful for is travel.

We weren’t able to do it during the pandemic and I missed it tremendously. Also I’ve only ever traveled within the United States, so when Covid hit, I was alarmed. HOLY CRAP! I never went to Europe! These thoughts made me promise myself that after everything opened back up, that I would go.

Even though I am still hunting for just the right agent, I am doing a lot of other things that make me happy. I’ve been photographing the gorgeous spring we are having here in Northern California. I’m going to England for the first time with a dear friend soon. I’ll be celebrating my birthday shortly (turning 55), and the 2nd anniversary of my podcast, Beautiful Second Act, in May. I also just recently hosted an in-person event for Beautiful Second Act at a lovely new shop that just opened in my community.

Me at Flickerstix Candle Co. where we held the event.

So, regardless of the fact that yes, I wish I had an agent to help sell my books, I am still loving my life just as it is every single day. Yes, it is my dream to be traditionally published, even though I have already successfully self-published. I know I can do that again if I wanted to so I have options. But I’m not dismayed or crestfallen because my hopes of being traditionally published hasn’t happened yet.

I still enjoy every day!

There have been times where I get disappointed. Somedays are harder than others to bounce back into my happy place. But I’ve learned the tools that help me to re-set faster than I used to and I know what a blessing life is. I just don’t want to waste a moment taking the beauty of this life for granted.

So, I’ll continue the hunt. I will continue to write. And if you are of a mind to, send up some good vibe thoughts to God, The Universe, or Spirit…however you talk to your Higher Power, with the intention for my books to be represented and published. I’d love the support.

In the meantime, keep reading, and get out there and embrace your life with gratitude!

Xoxo ~ Patti

*Photos by me, Patti Diener