This bizarre year has done me some favors and thrown me some curve balls that I’m still not quite sure how to maneuver. Small businesses have been hit really hard and we still aren’t even done with this Covid situation. For me personally, I started out with wonderful book sales, just to find them dwindle as more bookstores and other retailers suffered lower overall sales. So how do we begin to even gauge success in a year like 2020?
This year, I’ve reached out to people, women in particular, more than ever before. I’m not just talking about holding conversations with my friends, but I went in search of how others are finding ways to feel more grounded. I wanted to know how folks have found more gratitude, and how they’ve become less wrapped up in the negative climate that seems to encompass everything around us, and instead have embraced hope and new possibilities.
You might be wondering where exactly, did I go looking for these people. Well, I started by researching podcasts. I’ve never really been one to listen to podcasts because I guess I thought they would be a waste of time. I didn’t ever think I had enough time to listen to one. Well now…WOW! I am hooked. I can listen to podcasts while I water my yard, while I brush my teeth, put on make-up, clean the house, in the car, it’s endless. I choose to listen to podcasts that will lift me up, not bring me down. There are thousands and one of my favorites is called, DON’T KEEP YOUR DAY JOB. It’s not just about your job, but it’s more about what creative people love to do, and how the host encourages them to do their thing, AND TO BE SUCCESSFUL AT IT.
With all this inspiration, I wanted to give back to those that might be on the writing path. Earlier this year I made a Youtube video on how writers, in particular, could use this time that they were off work as an opportunity to create something wonderful. I still believe that, but I’ll admit, I can struggle with bouts of depression on what we cannot do. It’s hard to stay in that space of attitude for gratitude, when we are inundated with political storms, and all our freedoms are restricted. Still, I vowed to continue living well, and that meant my mental health as well as my physical health.
I really have always wanted to be successful in whatever I do, but my definition of success has changed over the years. I guess I think success should have two different definitions. One kind of success I think we all want is financial stability. That is probably the most recognized type of success. I mean I don’t think anyone would ever say, “Geez, I don’t need anymore money.” That being said, I’m not sure if anyone would ever say, “I’m successful enough.” But the other kind of success I’m interested in is the kind that is emotionally satisfying. To be successful in what you do with your time is the most gratifying feeling to me.
My husband is a retired battalion chief, but he’s also been a farmer his entire life. He’s a fourth generation farmer and although it is very trying and difficult work, he absolutely loves it. His time spent working the ranch is extremely satisfying for him and that makes him a success.
To be content with the work you chose to do, with the craft you chose to create, whether that be, (for me) writing, painting, cooking, building, gardening, or sewing, (you get the picture), you are a success if you are able to do what it is that you love to do. But what leaves me feeling stuck is I’m not living my truth. In my soul I truly feel I’m supposed to be writing and creating full time… and I’ve no idea how to do it. So I feel emotionally stifled.
So getting back to my journey of finding these people out there who seem to have tapped into the reservoir of passion and abundance, I went online and started watching videos of people that find joy in the everyday little things. I also watched more Youtubers that have figured out how to do things I wanted to learn how to do. I realized that my age is just a number and if I don’t mind how old I am while learning these new things, (how to create better videos), then nobody else will mind either.
Something I discovered in 2020 that I feel very successful for having realized, is that women in the middle…midlife,…have a unique opportunity to do things that we could never do in our younger lives. We are a distinct demographic of people that are curious and want to explore, and have more wisdom than we did when we were first navigating adulthood and parenthood. Some of us are just now waking up to the possibilities of what we can experience now that the kids are grown, or now that we no longer feel the need to prove ourselves. We have lines on our faces, and gravity can be a bitch, but we are still energetic enough to try something we’ve never been brave enough to try before.
Now is our time!
In 2020, I’ve found myself in a way I never knew before, and I think my writing is going to take me places I’ve only dreamed of. I might not be the age I wish I’d have started this journey from, but I am going to dare to dream big and say NOW is my time to make things happen.
If you are a woman in the middle, (or anyone in midlife), I want to say, take this Second Act and imagine what you can do with it. Your success is up to you. Don’t let your age dictate how you feel. It’s just a number. I mean, just look at Betty White’s career. She’s ninety-eight! In the year 2020, we might have had to overcome a whole lot of BS, but I also feel it’s been transformative. Learn something new, dare to create what you envision, and get out of your comfort zone! I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being complacent. I’m going to throw my hat into the arena, I’m going to probably make some mistakes along the way, but success for me will come when I fulfill my purpose, and that’s being a creative person.
In 2021, you will be seeing a lot of new endeavors from this gal, as I embrace my Second Act, and hopefully take you along with me.
Warm wishes to you all.
*All photos by me, Patti Diener
